3 Types of Fear

Fear is a signal. We don’t want to be controlled by it. But we don’t want to ignore it either. Fear is a God-given emotion. But fear is scary because it can overwhelm us so easily.

Don’t Put Duct Tape on the Oil Light

Negative emotions like fear are the idiot lights on the dashboard of our lives. We don’t want to be controlled by them. But they are God-given, and we need to pay attention to them.

Fear is a signal that there’s something going on under-the-hood.

Say your oil light goes on. You think, “I don’t want to deal with that $29.95 oil change, watch this!” And you put a piece of duct tape over the oil light so you can’t see it anymore. Problem Solved! Not so much.

You’re fine for a while, until your engine runs out of oil and freezes up. Now, facing $5000+ in engine repairs, that $29.95 oil change doesn’t look so bad.

In the same way, we don’t want to ignore our fear. It’s telling us that there’s something under-the-hood we need to pay attention to.

No Fear of Fear

Here’s the good news. You don’t have to be afraid of your fear. The first thing to do when you’re afraid is take one giant step back and ask, “What kind of fear is this?”

You Don’t Have to be Afraid of Your Fear

Knowing how to correctly respond to our fear depends on correctly discerning what type of fear it is. Fear is a healthy response to a threat. Here are 3 types of threats, and what to do.

1) A Real Threat

There are legitimate things to be afraid of. Rattlesnakes. Tornados. Sharks. Narcissists. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid of something that can actually harm you.

With an actual threat, we need real discernment from God whether to move forward or backward, or to stand our ground.

Most of the time, if you see a rattlesnake, it’s a good idea to slowly back away from it. But if it’s in your yard, and you have the tools (a hoe) and the know-how, you can move forward and kill that bugger.

With a narcissist, we need discernment. Some battles are not worth falling on our sword over. But some conversations need to be had.

There’s no one-size-fits-all. It depends on what God’s doing in that situation, both in you and in the other person.

With a real threat, intimacy with Jesus, prayer, and good counsel can help you discern whether God’s calling you to move forward, back away, or stand your ground and watch him move.

If you’re going to move forward into a real threat, you need two things: God’s calling and skill.

I grew up in the suburbs north of Los Angeles, with undeveloped fields of brush behind our house. Occasionally we’d get a rattlesnake in our yard. When I was a little boy, I’d run from them. As I grew into a teen, my dad taught me how to kill a rattlesnake with a hoe or a shovel.

Now I have the know-how and the tools to approach a rattlesnake and kill it without risking a life-threatening bite. If you know what you’re doing, it’s not a fair fight. The snake doesn’t have a chance. But if you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t approach a rattlesnake – you’ll get bitten and that’s not the snake’s fault.

My friends would sometimes go snake hunting, overturning rocks in the fields looking for a rattlesnake. Fortunately, they never found one. But I never went with them. I figured that’s the snake’s domain. It’s got a right to live out in the fields where it’s not hurting anybody, and it’s helping keep the rodent population in check.

But if it comes in my yard, that’s a different story. Now I’ve got authority, and that’s a dead snake.

Sometimes Christians, especially intercessors, charge forward into battles they have God’s heart for, but aren’t equipped with either the calling (authority) or the tools and skills to win that battle. John Paul Jackson wrote a great book on this subject, Needless Casualties of War about this very thing (not an affiliate link).

If you move forward into a real threat, make sure you have both the calling and the tools to do so. If you feel a calling but don’t have the tools, talk to godly counsel and learn the tools.

2) A Perceived Threat

This is a tricky one, because to us the perceived threat appears real. We have to stop and ask ourselves, is this a real threat, or am I just perceiving something bad that might happen?

And if it does go bad, what’s the worst that can happen? What would I do in that event? Sometimes having a plan can replace or lower the fear to a point where it’s no longer crippling.

Often, a perceived threat is the enemy trying to back us away from what God is calling us into. When we realize fear is his only weapon, it explains why we feel it so much and where most of it is coming from.

Most of the time, when we discern a perceived (but not real) threat, moving forward cautiously, with a contingency plan, is the right thing to do.

3) A Remembered Threat

Sometimes a remembered threat can bring up more fear than anything else. We’re in a situation that used to be dangerous, where we were harmed before, but is not dangerous now.

Maybe we have the tools and maturity to deal with the situation differently. Maybe we’re at a different stage in life and no longer have to be a victim to an oppressive person or situation.

Maybe we’re giving a bill for our past to someone who has nothing to do with it. For example, if we have a mile’s worth of reaction to an inch’s worth of offense, that’s a clue of a remembered threat.

A remembered threat is different than a real threat where we learned a lesson. The hot stove is still hot; being afraid to touch it counts as a real threat, even if we’re remembering the lesson we learned by touching it last time. It’s still a real threat.

A remembered threat is something that used to be a real threat, but no longer is a threat at all. Remembering trauma can cause this kind of fear. Like getting in the car again after a bad accident.

Realizing we’re dealing with a remembered threat can help us move forward. Often, fear from a remembered threat is God’s signpost that he has a deeper level of healing for us, and he’s inviting us to step forward into it.

Your Turn

Does this resonate? What are your experiences with these types of fear? How did you get through them? Did you move forward or backward? Tell us your story in the comments. And please share this post if it will bless others.

FYI, I learned about the 3 types of fear from Emily P. Freeman on her podcast, “The Next Right Thing.” It is excellent. She usually has short episodes (<15 minutes). I highly recommend it.