3 Great Ways to Hack Your Fear

The most dangerous contagion in our society right now isn’t covid-19. It’s fear. It’s actually more contagious and can be more deadly. Here are 3 great ways to hack your fear and keep it from spinning into overdrive and irrationally controlling you.

First, though, remember fear does have its rightful place. It’s a God-given emotion. Our previous post talks about how to use your fear along with your faith to your advantage.

But when fear gets in control, it warps our thinking and paralyzes our whole being. The fear center in our brain, the amygdala, can actually take our cerebral cortex offline, so we’re temporarily incapable of rational thought while the fear is in control.

Here’s a 90-second video to explain how this works:

Here are 3 great ways to hack your fear, so you can use what it’s telling you, but not be controlled by it.

1) Play the Game

My daughter had a very bad experience with horses at a camp where the leaders really didn’t know how to introduce kids to horses. So years later, when she started taking riding lessons, she was severely held back by this fear. Until I taught her to play the game.

Her fear of falling off the horse was keeping her from riding (posting) properly. I asked her, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid? How would you ride?”

“Well, I’d ride confidently like this and this and this,” she answered.

“Then do that. This is your chance to be an actress. Play the role of someone who’s not afraid, and ride like they would. Do that.”

That helped her tame her fearful heart enough for her head to take over and ride well. Pretty soon her heart caught up and realized it didn’t have to be afraid, and that fear was over.

Don’t let fear paralyze you. Play the game. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Do that.

2) Don’t React before It Happens

When I was young and my dad took me to the dentist, I began to cry in the waiting room, afraid of the imminent, painful, experience. My dad gently stopped me, and said, “David, has he hurt you yet?”

“No,” I answered.

“Then don’t cry yet. There’s nothing wrong with crying when you’re hurt. But don’t cry before you’re hurt.”

That made a lot of sense to me then, and it still does today. I know people whose family members have checked themselves into hospitals because watching coronavirus news reports whipped them into a frenzy of fear where they could not function. For these people, the coronavirus itself didn’t disrupt their lives as much as the fear of it did, the fear of something that hadn’t happened yet.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m in no way disparaging social distancing, shutdowns, etc. Yes, be careful so you don’t get shot in the foot. But don’t shoot yourself in the foot. Don’t cry before you’re hurt.

The saddest covid-19 story I’ve heard is a man who took his own life because he had covid-19, to protect his family. There are two really tragic points about this.

One, covid-19 has a 97% recovery rate (according to WebMD). Yes, it’s the worst flu you’ve ever had, and you feel like you’re going to die for three weeks instead of three days, but 97% of patients recover. Three bad weeks are not worth the rest of your life, or depriving your family from their husband/father for the rest of their lives.

Two, he didn’t actually have it! He had some symptoms, but, post-mortem, tested negative! What a tragedy!

This man actually died of the fear contagion, not the coronavirus one.

3) Realize You Are Being Played

We rely on the news media in order to stay informed and aware of what’s going on. Unfortunately, keeping you informed is not the news media’s mission.

We need to realize the media is playing to a business model—selling fear and outage. That influences (1) which stories they bring you, and (2) how they spin those stories. This is not a liberal vs. conservative thing. Fox News is just as guilty as CNN. Both sides have devolved into (1) selling you what they think you want to hear, and (2) spreading FUD—Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt. They do this for one, simple reason: It works. Unfortunately. But we can change that.

When they spin the news to stroke your bias and emotionally charge you up so you watch the next segment or click the headline link, they make money. It’s really that simple.

Now here’s the rub. We have to listen to or read the news to find out what’s going on. But realize neither side is giving you an objective presentation of the facts. If you feel outrage or fear rising up, especially fear, realize you’re being played. They have designed what you’re consuming to manipulate that fear you’re feeling right now.

So why consume news at all if they’re manipulating me? For the same good reasons that armies question enemy prisoners. Yes, you know they’re going to lie to you. You know they’re going to try to manipulate you. But knowing that, you can still glean useful information if you filter it properly.

Do that with the news media. If you feel your fear or outrage rising, it’s time to turn it off. Practice social distancing with the news media.

Realize you’re being played. Assimilate the information, but reject the manipulated emotion.

How about You?

Does this help? What fear are you dealing with? You have a whole community here to help you; this is a safe place. Sometimes just talking about it and expressing it helps tremendously. Or how have you overcome fear? Tell us in the comments; your story will help someone else. And please share this post if it would bless others.