How to Be Honest without Being Mean

Can we be honest without being mean? Our churches have taught us to be “good” people. To be nice. To be kind. And that’s good – kindness is a fruit of the spirit, after all (Galatians 5:22-23). The problem is, with too many churches, it stops right there. Be nice. Be affirming. Don’t rock the […]

Wonderfully Disruptive Spiritual Technology

I have a friend who had a dream. People were standing in lines waiting to go somewhere, or get into something. Many lines, straight and orderly. Very polite, very systematic. But then some people came along who created quite a disturbance by pulling people out of the lines. They were very adamant about convincing people […]

3 Ways Healthy Churches Do Life Together

In this fallen world, the human condition is a paradox of two contradictory, deep primal pulls. One is longing to be fully known, and to know others, in relationally intimacy. The other is being terrified of it. We are terrified of the intimacy we so deeply long for. That terror usually is there because our […]

4 Key Signs of a Healthy Church

I’ve been asked recently how to find a healthy church. What does that even look like? Are there any? Does such a thing even exist? Well, I’m happy to report, having found one ourselves and having seen many, yes, they do exist. I’ve also been in unhealthy churches for years, and there are many of […]

The 3 Most Powerful Tools for Freedom & Healing

One of the biggest disagreements in Christendom is over counseling versus inner healing versus deliverance. And within that sentence lies the whole problem: Saying the word “versus.” It’s not “either/or.” It’s “both/and.” In our scarcity mindset and fear of doing it wrong, we so often make a controversy on earth where there isn’t one in […]

What to Do when the Pain Won’t Go Away

None of us want to admit it, but we all have it. Or have had it at some point. Emotional pain that just won’t go away. Sometimes we think we’ve stuffed it, but then – bam – something seemingly innocent happens and it all comes crashing back. Daniel was so past his divorce. He’d made […]

How to Speak the Truth in Love

As Christians, we are Jesus’ hands and feet. Jesus’ mouthpiece. The presentation of Jesus’ heart to the world. The uncompromising truth of God’s holiness walking lockstep with Jesus’ sacrifice and compassion for the world. The church should be the most compassionate place on earth. And yet, the church has a problem. It’s made up of […]

Why Neglect Is Just as Harmful as Abuse

We all understand that abuse is harmful. It leaves deep scars and wounds on our heart, especially when committed by the people who should have loved us. That’s Type B trauma—a “Bad” thing happened. We all get that abuse is really bad. But Type A trauma—the “Absence” of the necessary good thing—is still trauma. But […]

Being Loved to Life—Authentic Christianity

Sarah was in church smiling, conversing with all her church friends. “If they only knew the mess in my life,” she thought every week, “they wouldn’t have anything to do with me.” So she kept pretending, and she was good at it. They all knew Sarah the Good Girl. No one knew Sarah the Alcoholic. […]