Why We Choose Confusion over Clarity

Nobody wants to be confused. Or do we? It turns out a lot of our confusion is intentional. We all say we want clarity. But, all too often, we actually choose confusion over clarity because confusion gives us these 3 benefits.

(1) Confusion Lets Us Avoid Conflict

I heard a podcast where a business owner was talking with his business coach. “I have this employee who doesn’t seem to fit anywhere we put him. I’ve helped him develop skills, and we’ve moved him around to different positions, but he just doesn’t seem to be effective anywhere. I’m really confused about what to do with this person.”

The coach called the owner on the carpet. “No, you’re not. You’re not confused. You know exactly what you need to do with this person – let him go. You’re choosing to be confused because you don’t want to do it.”

Ouch. I resemble that remark. If there’s a conflict we need to have, but don’t want to have, our brains often help with that. “Here, let me help you avoid that painful thing.” So, unconsciously, we choose to be confused to avoid having a conflict we’re afraid of.

(2) Confusion Lets Us Avoid Action

What if it’s not conflict per se, but doing something scary? Writing that book. Hitting “publish” on that blog or video. Starting that business. Following your heart. Doing what you were created to do.

There is a spark of genius that only you can bring into the world. And if you don’t do it, no one will. Your calling is the scary and exhilarating adventure you were created to live. Its greatest enemy is what you are comfortably good at.

Confusion lets us stay in that place of comfortable excellence, never daring to take that first right scary step into our calling. How sad! The greatest tragedy in life isn’t an early death, but a long life unlived.

(3) Confusion Lets Us Avoid Responsibility

The most important step in solving a problem is to actually do something. Often, it doesn’t even matter if it’s the right thing or not. Because if we’re honestly trying to solve the problem and do the wrong thing, we usually figure it out quickly. And then we can course correct, getting closer to doing the right thing. Eventually, if we keep doing things, we’ll figure out the right thing, do it, and solve the problem.

But action, working through the process of actually doing things to solve a problem, requires a prerequisite: Accepting responsibility for the problem.

Confusion keeps us from starting the process of solving a problem. Confusion lets us avoid responsibility. “Whose problem is this anyway? It’s not my responsibility.” Entitlement loves sprouting up from the futile soil of confusion. And entitlement always pushes the responsibility for our own lives onto other people.

Thanks but No Thanks

We all say we want clarity. But clarity can be very uncomfortable. Clarity calls us to scary action outside our comfort zone and places responsibility squarely on our shoulders. Confusion lets us avoid action, conflict, and responsibility in a socially acceptable way. Bonus!

But it’s not really a bonus. Although our brain is trying to do us a favor with that big, intimidating wall of foggy confusion, it’s not really helping. Confusion keeps you from your calling, from the thing that would light up your heart if you would only do it – that thing you were born to do.

If you think about it, the only real weapon the Enemy has to keep you from your calling is Fear. He often instills fear by trauma, but a more subtle strategy is confusion. Confusion is a socially acceptable cover for fear.

Think about it. What’s more socially acceptable to say? Which of these two options gives me emotional cover for avoiding the thing I don’t want to do:

• “I know what I need to do, but I’m afraid to do it.” That will have people encouraging me to do the thing! “You can do it!” they’ll cheer me on. Bummer! I’m trying to avoid doing that scary thing.

• “I’m just not sure about what to do next.” If I’m trying to avoid something, that works much better. People will say, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Perfect! Emotional cover for inaction.

Except that your calling, your purpose, your transformation, lies on the other side of that fear.

Defeat Confusion with 3 Questions

So how do we fix this? Defeating confusion comes down to this – the answer to these 3 questions.

1) Do you believe who God says you are? God has a unique purpose for you. Suspend disbelief for a moment. What makes your heart leap when you think of doing it, before your brain jumps in and tells you that you can’t?

2) Do you believe God is for you? God put that spark in your heart. He’s for you, on your side, rooting for your success. And he’s cheating along the way, orchestrating things to give you exactly the help you need exactly when you need it. He’s all in. Are you?

3) If you weren’t “confused,” what would you do? Play the role as an actor. Someone who has the same spark in your heart that you do, but wasn’t afraid, what would they do next? Do that.

Your Turn – Do Something

It’s hard to know whether something will work or not. But it’s pretty easy to tell if something is working or not. Clarity comes with action. Stop choosing to be confused. Do the thing. If it’s something you’re afraid of doing, you probably need to do it.

Does your best-self know what the next right thing to do is, but you’re afraid to do it? Does this post resonate? Tell us your story in the comments. And please share this post if this would bless someone else.