How to Tell if You’re Motivated by Wounding or Calling

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Everything we do in life is driven by one of these two things. At the end of the day, these are the only two motivations in the human experience. Everything we do is driven by either our wounding or our calling. Here’s an example.

Bob and Ted both help their church one Saturday morning a month serving breakfast at the local homeless shelter. They both get up at 5:00 AM, so they can be at the shelter by 6:00 to have breakfast ready for the residents at 7:00. They’re both happy to do whatever’s needed—scrambling dozens of eggs, cooking bacon, toasting slices and slices of toast, washing dishes, talking to and praying with the residents. Both are faithful. Both feel great afterwards, having been blessed with the opportunity to serve. But while they both look exactly the same from the outside, there’s a big difference inside.

Driving home, Bob is jazzed. He feels so good. For a few brief, shining moments, he feels good about himself, having done something good. Maybe that compensates for all his failures. Maybe, for a few hours, that’ll drown out the shame that just won’t let him go. Bob is serving out of his wounding.

Meanwhile, Ted is driving home, and he’s also jazzed. He feels so good. When he’s eating and talking with the shelter residents, he identifies with them. He doesn’t see a dirty homeless man. He sees a broken heart. He sees potential. He sees God’s hand of anointing and purpose on these precious people who have been so deceived and beaten up by the world. And Ted feels privileged to be with them, to tell them the truth of who they really are, how much they’re loved by God, and to pray with them. Ted’s high will last for days. Ted is serving out of his calling.

Do you see the difference? Both are doing the same actions. Both look exactly the same on the outside. Both get good feelings out of it (which is the outworking of a Kingdom principle, BTW. You can control your emotions by serving.) [https://identityinwholeness.com/how-to-control-your-emotions/]

But their motivations are totally different. Bob is serving for the benefit to himself. He’s medicating pain. He may or may not feel guilted into it, but either way, his wounding pushes him to serve. Ted, on the other hand, is serving for the benefit of the people he’s serving. He feels drawn to them. His calling pulls him into serving. He can’t not serve.

Let’s look at another example.

Bob and Ted both get home after the homeless shelter feeding and get their daughters ready for swim practice at the local pool. Their kids are both on the same swim team, and both Bob and Ted are very involved in helping the coach with the team.

Bob was a swimmer in his youth and a strong contender for the Olympics, until the injury. That ended that. But his daughter has an opportunity to succeed where Bob failed. So he pushes her to swim harder, faster, better. And he doesn’t understand why she seems to resent all he’s sacrificing so she can have this opportunity. Going to swim meets all over the country isn’t cheap. He’s living vicariously through his daughter. His wounding is pushing him and his daughter. This movie doesn’t end well. Maybe you’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve lived it.

Ted, on the other hand, can think of a thousand other things he’d rather be doing than spending Saturday at the pool. Mowing the lawn, mending that fence, trimming the roses. He loves being outside, and doesn’t look forward to spending another Saturday indoors at the pool smelling chlorine all day.

But from birth, his daughter was as comfortable in the water as she was on land. No one had to teach her how to blow bubbles in the bathtub, or to put her face under the water. She just did it naturally. She was almost swimming before she could walk. Ted realized something about his child: God hard-wired her to swim. So he silently sacrifices his Saturdays because he knows that as her father it’s his calling to gently guide her into who God created her to be.

Do you see the difference? Again, Bob and Ted look exactly the same from the outside. They both go to all their daughter’s swim practices and swim meets. They both help out the coach with the team however they can. But their inner motivations are totally different. Pushed by his wounding, Bob is doing it for himself, in a fruitless attempt to ease the pain. But Ted is pulled by his calling. He can’t not be there for his daughter, for her sake—not for his.

Both are driven. But while Bob is pushed by his wounding, Ted is pulled by his calling. And that’s how you can tell whether you’re being motivated by your wounding or by your calling. Wounding pushes you—guilt, shame, medicating pain. But calling pulls you—drawing you forward, wooing you, to the point that once you start thinking “what if…” you can’t not pursue it.

So what if I discover I’m being driven by my wounding? Do these 4 simple steps.

1) Admit it. Stop pretending otherwise.

2) Name the wounding. You have power over what you can put a label on.

3) Get help. There’s no shame wearing a cast on a broken leg. There’s no shame getting counseling for broken emotions. Everyone needs help at some point. Talk to your pastor, a professional counselor, a mature and godly parent, or a trusted friend. Or all of them. You need all the tools in the toolbox. But, please, talk to somebody.

4) Embrace this season of healing. You can get free. Healing is out there. Pursue it. Don’t give up. God wants to bring you freedom, so you can set others free. You have authority over what you’ve been set free from.

Once you’re walking in freedom rather wounding, you may realize your calling is totally different from what you thought. Whole new worlds may open up to you.

Or, you may have been pursuing your calling all along, but your wounding is like dragging an iron ball chained to your leg—so you can’t run very fast. Once you get some healing, maybe you’ll feel a new freedom and ease to chase the calling you never believed was possible.

Caveat: Healing comes in waves. This may not be your last season of healing. Healing hurts, so out of his mercy God gives us as much as we can handle at any one time. So don’t be surprised if, after years of living motivated by your calling, you suddenly discover there’s still some wounding there. Don’t be discouraged—God’s getting ready to upgrade you again! Bonus!

How about you? Are you operating out of your wounding, or out of your calling? Have you ever realized, after getting some healing, your calling was totally different from what you thought it was? Have you gone through seasons of healing? How did each give you another level of freedom? We’d love to hear your story in the comments or in an email. And please share if this would bless someone else.

Free Resources:

Do you know God wants to talk directly to you? Do you have trouble hearing him? Find out how to hear God with Dave’s free ebook “Hearing God and What’s Next: 12 Ways to Hear God, 3 Things to Do about It, and 6 Ways to Know You’re Not Crazy.”

Does your heart need healing? Learn the steps to inner healing with Jesus through a fun and engaging fictional story. Download Dave’s free ebook “The Runt: A Fable of Giant Inner Healing.”

How to Change How You See Yourself with 2 Words

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“I’m learning.” These are the most powerful two words we can say. They will completely change our mindset about how we see ourselves. And they shut down the accusations in our head.

For example, when “I’m so disorganized” becomes “I’m learning to be organized,” that’s a total game changer. You no longer see yourself as a disorganized person.

The most destructive lie we can believe about ourselves is, “That’s just the way I am.”

That is one of my personal pet peeves. Don’t get me started. More than anything else, this lie shuts down any growth in our lives. It gives us permission to stew in victimhood.

Instead, saying “I’m learning to …” puts us in a whole new light. It gives us permission to not be doing it perfectly yet. It gives us permission to keep trying even when we make mistakes. And it reframes those mistakes as a necessary part of learning.

When you say, “I’m learning,” you’ve accepted a new reality about yourself in your heart. Because that’s where our beliefs about ourselves, and hence our words, come from.

Jesus explained it this way.

“For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” – Jesus, Matthew 15:19

And again:

“A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth good; and an evil man, out of the evil treasure of his heart, brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” –Jesus, Luke 6:45

Negative thoughts about yourself start in your heart, not your head. Contrary to conventional wisdom, your brain doesn’t figure out what you believe. It rationalizes it.

Your heart decides what you want to believe, and your brain justifies it. That’s your brain’s job. (More about that here.)

So if your heart decides, “I’m just a disorganized person,” your brain will magnify every disorganized thing in your house, car, and workspace to reinforce and justify that belief. Your mind will be presented with an unorganized mountain of chaos that can never be tamed to rationalize what your heart believes.

On the other hand, if you choose to say, “I’m learning to be an organized person,” then your brain sees everything as a possibility. It goes to work to figure out how that cluttered area could be different.

The words we say and think about ourselves decide whether our brain sees all the negative evidence or all the positive possibilities.

Since God created us as integrated spiritual and physical beings, our behavior and our identity do this dance together. You can change what your heart believes by the words you choose to say.

Your Turn

What story do you tell yourself about yourself? What words do you use to describe yourself? What do you choose to believe about yourself? Have you learned to change the narrative?

Just learning to say “I’m learning” is a huge step forward. Do you have a negative narrative in your head that needs to change? If you’ve come out of that, tell us how in the comments. Your story will inspire others. And please share this post to get this message out to more readers.

3 Ways to Bridge the Gap

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I’m sure you’ve noticed. There’s an increasingly larger and larger gap these days between the world and the church. The world is pushing a narrative that, even a few decades ago, even one decade ago, would’ve been viewed as complete insanity.

Well, what is it? you ask. Fair question, which I’m not answering in this post. Because this post is not about the world’s false narrative. This post is not about the gap. That’s the world’s problem.

This post is about how to bridge the gap. That’s our problem.

How to Not Bridge the Gap

Sometimes, when you’re trying to figure out how to do something, it’s helpful to understand what won’t work.

Shouting at someone, “Accept Jesus before you go to hell!” will not get someone to accept Jesus before they go to hell. Just the opposite, in fact.

But the Evangelists will say, “But we have to warn people! It’s not love to just watch people perish and do nothing!”  True statement.

But, in general, getting in someone’s face with the truth won’t work either. That just reinforces the negative beliefs they already have about Christians, that we’re intolerant, judgmental, hypocritical, and self-righteous. (Aside: Yes, we sometimes struggle with these things. But at least Christians recognize them as vices. Wokeness is perfecting intolerance, judgmentalism, hypocrisy, and self-righteousness into an art form.)

My point is this. As Christians, in many ways, we’ve majored in finding differences with non-believers, and letting them know where they are wrong. That’s an ineffective evangelistic strategy.

Here are 3 powerful ways to bridge the gap effectively with unbelievers.

(1) Love First, Truth Second

Instead of majoring on pointing out our differences, let’s major on finding what we have in common, and start there. In general, I think it’s a mistake to start with where we disagree or are different. Let’s start with what we agree on, what we have in common, and where we are the same.

Then we build relationship around that. And then, from that place of relationship, be watching and alert for the Holy Spirit‘s prompting for where we can speak life.

That’s how we can effectively bring the truth of scripture to someone else’s life: love first, truth second.

I’m in no way suggesting or implying we compromise the truth about Biblical morality, sexual integrity, or Jesus as the only path to the Father & salvation. Heaven knows the world desperately needs the Church to stand up and speak God’s truth.

But I am saying, pleading even, c’mon people, please, let’s be smart about it!

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:5-6)

We have to earn the right to speak truth into someone’s life. And we do that through relationship.

(2) Ask Questions

I’m going to show my age here, but did anyone watch Columbo starring Peter Falk? Remember the series about the seemingly bumbling homicide detective? He knows who the murderer is within the first 5 minutes of each episode.

But he never accuses or argues. He asks questions. Incessantly. He usually tricks the murderer into giving him the evidence he needs to arrest them. And when he finally makes his accusation at the end, when he makes the arrest, they never argue.

“Never tell ‘um everything you know.” – Colombo

My point is not to badger people like Columbo did, but to ask questions like he did. Instead of arguing, ask them smart questions about what doesn’t make sense. Don’t argue with them about their answer; their spirit knows the world’s narrative they’re spouting is nonsense, even if their mind won’t admit it yet. Just ask more questions to make them think.

The other thing we can learn from Columbo is that he was never in a hurry. Sometimes we act like we’re afraid of their unbelief, and we try to force people into admitting how right we are. Having asked questions that point out the world’s fallacies, let them sit with it. Believe me, the Holy Spirit is replaying your questions on a loop tape in their head. Give the Holy Spirit the space to work on them.

After all, changing hearts is his job, not ours. We’re just the stage hands.

(3) The Power of Your Story

Quoting scripture to people only works if the person already accepts the Bible as truth. People who don’t accept the Bible as truth don’t care what it says.

They can argue with your theology. They can argue with your morality. They can argue with your conclusions. They can argue with common sense. But they cannot argue with your story.

Your story, what God has done in your life, is yours. Totally and solely. No one can argue with it. They can choose to not believe, and that’s on them. But they can’t argue with it. Your story is your story.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony. (Revelation 12:11a)

Your story is your story. It’s powerful. Like this verse in Revelation points out, the Enemy has no defense against your story.

Sometimes we make this way too complicated. Just tell people what God’s done for you, in the context of relationship.

Your Turn

Does any of this resonate? Does anyone remember Columbo? What do you think? Have you tried these suggestions? Do you have better ones? Please tell us in the comments and share this post if it would bless others.

A Practical Example: How I Partner with God

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Here is an example of how I partner with God in a simple, everyday thing. It’s not anything earth-shattering or heavy-revy. But it’s making a huge difference in my life. And there’s a big takeaway here that I pray you find useful in your own life.

How I Partner with God for My Daily Wakeup Time

So I used to set my morning alarm at 4:45 AM (Monday through Friday). Here was my typical daily routine:

  • 4:45 AM: Alarm goes off, get up & go to the gym.
  • 5:45 AM: Leave gym, come home, shower, get breakfast & coffee.
  • 6:30 AM: Leave for work.
  • 7:30 AM – 5:00 PM: At work for 9.5 hours (8 hour work day).
  • 12:00 PM – 1:30 PM: Work on website during 1.5 hour lunch break.
  • 5:00 PM – 6:00 PM: Commute home.
  • After 6:00 PM: Dinner and spend the evening with Janet.

I did this for a long time, and it was fine. But usually that alarm going off at 4:45 was not a friendly sound, even though my phone’s alarm is a song I like. Sometimes I’d be ready to get up, but sometimes I’d be in a deep sleep and wake up groggy. Almost always, I’d wish I’d slept longer, but duty calls, so up we go.

Then I revamped my “official” daily schedule to this:

  • 6:45 AM: Drop-dead alarm time, shower, get breakfast & coffee.
  • 7:30 AM: Leave for work.
  • 8:30 AM – 5:00 PM: At work for 8.5 hours (8 hour work day).
  • 12:00 PM – 12:30 PM: Work on website during half-hour lunch break.
  • 5:00 PM – 6:00 PM: Commute home.
  • After 6:00 PM: Dinner and spend the evening with Janet.

I still set a “drop-dead” alarm time, so I’m not late for work. In the last 6 months since I’ve been doing this, that drop-dead alarm has gone off maybe twice.

Before going to bed, I pray, “Lord, wake me up when you know I need to get up to live the day you have planned for me tomorrow. Thank you in advance for giving my body all the sleep it needs.”

Then I wake up naturally, when my body is done sleeping. I believe that’s God keeping his side of the bargain. So my partnership with God is, “Any time after 4:00 AM that I wake up, I’ll believe that’s You, and I’ll get up.”

So How Has This Been Working for Me?

There are days when I wake up at 5:00 AM naturally, versus waking up at 4:45 AM to the alarm. And I feel so much better! I’m not groggy. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

And there are many ways to make-up that 15 minutes. Some days, God knows the commute will be shorter because traffic is better. Or I take 1.25 hours instead of 1.5 hours for our website at lunch. Or I leave work at 5:15 instead of 5:00. That 15 minutes really doesn’t make much of a difference to our evening.

But most of the time, I wake up before 4:45 AM! Often I wake up at 4:15 or 4:30. That gives me time to have a short devotion time with the Lord, still get to the gym, and often I get more than 1.5 hours website time at lunch, because I’m getting to work before 7:30.

And I wake up feeling great because my body got all the sleep it needed. If my body needs more sleep, it can have it. I can either skip the gym or have less website time that day. I’m still getting to the gym at least 3 times a week, and I’m getting more website time over the week than I did before.

It doesn’t make sense on paper, but partnering with God just works. So many days I’ve gotten more sleep at no cost, because traffic was lighter that day. So many times I’ve had extra website time, and needed, to the minute, exactly that much time to accomplish that day’s important website task.

The Big Takeaway: If God Doesn’t Come Through, It Doesn’t Work

But here’s the thing. A half-hour a day is not enough time to work on our website. That is not enough time to be successful. So if I wake up to my drop-dead alarm on a regular basis, our website fails.

Also, in order to stay healthy, I need to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. If I wake up to my drop-dead alarm, there’s no time for that.

So if God doesn’t come through, it doesn’t work, which is really risky. And scary. I’m risking our website. I’m risking my health.

But God does come through for me, over and over again. Every. Single. Morning.

I had to give up control. I gave up my schedule, where every day is the same & I guaranteed each activity has the time it needs. But, truth be told, that schedule was killing me, running me into the ground. I couldn’t maintain it.

Partnering with God is worth it. But you’ve got to set it up so it doesn’t work if God doesn’t come through.

Your Turn – Experiment!

This post isn’t about not setting an alarm. It won’t work for everyone, and that’s ok.

This post is about partnering with God in a practical way that matters, and setting it up so that if God doesn’t come through, it doesn’t work; something fails. And that will look different for every person. That will look different for you than it does for me.

You can still have a safety net, like I have with my drop-dead alarm. That’s not a lack of faith, that’s just being responsible. But I trust God that he will come through, and I’ll hardly ever need it. And that’s been my experience.

So experiment! What practical thing can you partner with God for? How can you set it up so that if God doesn’t come through, it doesn’t work? What practical thing does God want to partner with you for? Ask him! And then act on your next thought.

Let me know what you do and how it works; email me at dave@IdentityInWholeness.com.

So what are you going to try? Or have you done something like this before? Tell us in the comments. And please share this post if it would bless others.

How to Move from Either/Or to Both/And

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Sometimes we get in our own way, and limit what God wants to do in our lives by either/or thinking. But making the paradigm shift to both/and thinking is often the most powerful enabling shift we can make.

That changes everything.

A Real-Life Example

In one of my recent webinars about hearing God, a participant shared this (true) story:

There was a Christian school trying to hear God to discern if they should move to another city or if they should stay put. This is a big decision and one that can’t be undone once you’ve carried it out. Once you’ve moved, you obviously can’t move back to the old city; that’s just financially and logistically not possible. So they had to get this right.

The director shared all the reasons for both sides, and asked all 18 staff to fast and spend focused time in prayer about this issue. They prayed for unity around God’s will for the school.

You can probably guess what happened. 9 staff came back feeling certain God wanted them to move. And 9 staff came back feeling certain God wanted them to stay. Snap! What do you do with that?

These are the real-life tough questions. On the webinar, I didn’t have any easy answers. We like to reduce everything to formulas and frameworks. And while those can be helpful and instructive, life likes to throw us exceptions.

Time for a Paradigm Shift

So, well snap, whatever the answer was, half the staff missed what God was saying.

Or did they?

Since that webinar, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. What if God’s answer to the school wasn’t either/or? What if God’s vision for the school was both/and?

What if God’s answer to, “Should we stay or should we go?” was “Yes!”??? What if God was saying keep the original campus in the old city and open up a new one in the new city?

And what if the Lord separated the staff for the Director, clearly indicating who was to stay and who was to go, by the response they brought back?

Looking at the staff responses as a both/and, rather than an either/or, it suddenly gets a lot less confusing!

How to Move into a New Paradigm

But we can’t open a new campus! We’re barely keeping our heads above water operating the one campus we have now!

The trick in moving into a new paradigm is not talking ourselves out of it before we’ve given it a fair chance. And the way we do that is by making an enabling decision: Suspend disbelief (at least for the moment).

Your Enabling Decision: Suspend Disbelief

Suspending disbelief doesn’t mean taking our rational brain off-line and living in a fantasy. To the contrary, it means letting our rational brain work out, with the Holy Spirit’s help, what this idea would look like. It means not dismissing the idea out-of-hand.

Suspending disbelief leaves that scary idea on the table. It asks the key question: What would have to be true in order for this to actually work?

Key Question: What would have to be true in order for this to work?

So suppose God’s vision for this school was to open a new campus. What would have to be true in order for this to work?

We would have to divide up the existing staff – who stays and who goes. But, if this is God’s vision for the school, he already did that by their responses. The staff who clearly heard God clearly saying to stay is supposed to stay. And the staff who clearly heard God saying to move is supposed to move. That would’ve been a major problem, but God already sorted it out.

So back to the key question: If these 9 staff are going to move and launch a new campus, what has to be true? What skills do they have? What skills do they need to hire (or develop)?

Same question for those that stay. What has to be true for the existing campus to succeed with half its staff? What would have to change?

The Power of Both/And

Do you see how a both/and solution is a powerful paradigm shift?

It can also be scary. Some things are rightfully scary because they’re stupid. But other things are scary because they’re bigger than we can imagine. Or control. Or wrap our brains around. And sometimes it’s really hard to tell the difference.

It’s ok to say to God, “If this is you, this is what I need.” And see if he provides it.

It’s ok for the Director to say, “Ok, God, if you want us to have 2 campuses, I need you to double our support base.” Then pitch the idea to the school’s donors and see what happens.

God often (ok, usually) calls us to something bigger than ourselves. It’s ok to say, “Ok God, if you want me to do that, then I need this from you.” And see if God provides.

God may meet the need sovereignly. Or he may drop a strategy in our spirits for meeting that need. And we get to see if it works. I know by experience God loves to partner with his people in this way!

It’s all over the Bible. God did this for Gideon with the fleece (Judges 6:36-40).

And God did it for Moses by sending Aaron along to speak for him (Exodus 4:14-16). And the interesting thing is, God did this for Moses even though God knew Moses didn’t really need Aaron. It’s a fascinating story. As you read it, you watch Moses gradually grow into the leader God knew he was all along, talking to Pharaoh directly.

God is not afraid of your doubts, misgivings, or questions. He will meet you in them.

What Needs to Be True?

Does this resonate? Are you trying to decide between two mutually exclusive choices? What if your choices weren’t mutually exclusive?

Yes, some choices certainly are. You can’t marry two people or be in two places at once. But sometimes we artificially limit ourselves, and what God wants to do, because of either/or thinking.

How would considering the both/and option change the game?

Tell us your thoughts & share your story in the comments. Your input helps our whole community. And please share this post if it would bless others.

How to Hear God Better by Showing Up Differently

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Many of us have trouble hearing God because we’re showing up wrong. We’ve got the wrong paradigm, and it’s interfering with (1) how well we hear God, and (2) our intimacy with him in general.

Because we’re showing up to the wrong meeting.

Too often, we show up trying to hear God like it’s a job interview, when it’s really a staff meeting.

There’s nothing wrong with the way we show up for job interviews. There’s a knack to interviewing well. After all, you’re totally being judged. You’re being evaluated. Your potential employer is making a yes-or-no hiring decision about you based on this first-impression. You want to put your best foot forward. You want the job.

The problem is, we show up in trying to hear God like it’s a job interview. But it’s not a job interview. It’s a staff meeting.

Think about it. How do you show up differently for a job interview than for a staff meeting?

[Note: I’m taking for granted we’re talking about a staff meeting at a healthy company, not a toxic work environment. We all have horror stories – that’s not what we’re talking about here. Think ideal staff meeting at a healthy company.]

Here are 6 tangible ways we hear God better by showing up like a staff meeting instead of a job interview.

(1) Nervous vs Comfortable and Safe

At a job interview, we’re nervous. And rightfully so – we’re being judged and evaluated. People who interview well channel that nervousness into focused enthusiasm. You’re carefully curating everything you say. That’s not easy, and it’s emotionally exhausting. You can’t keep it up for long.

But at a staff meeting, we feel safe. We’re not being judged. We’re in that place of already being accepted. We don’t have to fight for it or prove we belong.

Do we feel nervous coming into God’s presence, or do we feel comfortable and safe?

(2) Foreign Environment vs At Home & Familiar

In a job interview, we are on their turf, usually a place we’ve never been before. It’s a foreign environment. We’re trying to simultaneously take it all in and not be distracted by it.

But in a staff meeting, we’ve been here before. We’re familiar with this place. It’s a second home.

Does God’s presence feel foreign or familiar?

(3) Escorted & Watched vs Trusted Access

As a job interviewee, we sit in the lobby, sweating bullets. Eventually, the receptionist escorts us to the office or conference room where the interview will take place. Afterward, the interviewer escorts us back out to the lobby and makes sure we leave. We’re never left to wander the halls alone.

But in a staff meeting, we work there. We have trusted access. We can come and go as we please.

Do we show up with God like we’re being watched, or like we have trusted access into his presence?

(4) Goal to Impress vs Goal to Connect

In a job interview, our goal is to impress the interviewer and get the job. Period. Hands down. Everyone knows, the interviewer and the interviewee, that the goal is to impress.

But in a staff meeting, our goal is to connect with our employer and our fellow employees.

Do we show up trying to hear God by trying to impress him, or by trying to connect with his heart?

(5) Hiding Problems vs Solving Problems

Along those lines, we hide and minimize problems in a job interview. If there are problems or issues on our resume or in our job experience, we don’t call attention to them. That’s not going to help us get the job.

But at a staff meeting, it’s not about getting the job. It’s about doing the work. So we raise problems, we highlight them, because they’re interfering with the work. We bring up problems so we, as a group, can solve them.

In our time with God, do we hide or minimize our sin, or do we bring it up? Do we talk it out with him in order to solve it?

(6) Displaying Credentials vs Getting Help

In a job interview, we are displaying our credentials. We’ve written them down in a resume. And we plan to highlight the areas where we really shine and how qualified we are for the position.

But in a staff meeting, we raise our short-comings. We get help.

In engineering companies like mine, we call them “blockers” – things are interfering with getting our job done. It’s management’s job to remove the blockers so we can do our job. But they can only do that if we tell them the blocker is there.

It’s perfectly ok to go to God and say, “If I’m going to do what I hear you calling me to do, I need ____.” Fill in the blank. Maybe it’s provision. Maybe it’s restoration of a relationship. Maybe it’s healing (physical or emotional or both).

Do we spend our time with God displaying our credentials, how self-sufficient we are? Or do we bring the “blockers” to him and ask for help?

“Relax! You Got the Job, Already!”

Can you imagine how frustrating it would be for an employer if, at every single staff meeting, an employee was trying to prove they deserved their place in the company? Hiding where they need help and just constantly broadcasting how well-qualified they are? All that would reveal is that employee’s insecurity in their position.

Are we insecure in our position in the Kingdom?

What if God is trying to tell you, “Relax, you got the job already! Be secure in your position my son bought for you on the cross. Stop trying to win the job you already have, and let’s get down to doing the work of my Kingdom!”

How would our conversations with God change if we showed up for Kingdom staff meetings, instead of a constant job interview, insecure in our position & trying to prove ourselves? How would we show up differently if we were secure in our position, versus constantly fearful about getting fired (or not even hired in the first place)?

Your Turn

Does this resonate? Does it make you think about your time with God differently? Do you see ways you can change your thinking to show up for God in a Kingdom staff meeting, instead of a job interview? Tell us your thoughts in the comments; your story will help us all grow. And please share this post if it would bless others.

What I’m Learning about God’s Rest

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I’ve shared my journey of discovering how to honor the Sabbath and enter into God’s rest. Not that those are both the same thing, but they are related.

True rest, God’s rest, is not the absence of work. Regarding the Sabbath, Jesus told the Pharisees, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17).

So it’s not a legalistic thing. I used to hate talking about the Sabbath because I thought it was. I thought if I wasn’t bored all day that I wasn’t honoring the Sabbath. Not true.

God’s rest is not the absence of work. God’s rest is doing the right work, the stuff God has for you. Jesus did only what he saw the Father doing (John 5:19).

And it’s not just doing the right work. You can do the right work and still choose to be stressed out over it. God’s rest is also trusting him for its success. That takes the pressure off! That doesn’t mean we do a sloppy job, we still pursue excellence and do the best we can. But we’re not stressing over the success because it doesn’t depend on us. That is so totally freeing!

There’s a huge difference between pursuing excellence and pursuing perfectionism. I know from experience there’s no rest in pursuing perfectionism. And I bet you do, too.

This is fast becoming one of my favorite verses:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. – Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

The unforced rhythms of grace. I love that!

So here’s what God’s been teaching me about entering into his rest and learning the unforced rhythms of grace in my life.

I’m keeping the Sabbath by not using it to do any recurring tasks. Like our weekly blog. Like paying bills. I can do one-off tasks, things that need doing around the house or on the website. But I’ve been intentionally avoiding recurring tasks.

And it’s been wonderful! I’ve been feeling refreshed instead of exhausted. After finishing any one-off tasks I’ve had to do Sunday, I’ve had time to do things that feed my soul. Like reading for a couple hours in the evening with Janet. We both read different things, but being together and just reading is tremendously refreshing. And I feel God smile.

This is just personally what God’s been teaching me. I’m not recommending it for anybody else. And I know I’ve more to learn.

What are you learning? What is God teaching you about entering into the unforced rhythms of grace? We’d love to hear from you, and what you’re learning will bless the rest of our community. So please leave a comment and share on social media if you think this would bless someone else.

How to Get Your Brain Working for You

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First we have to understand what our brain is really for. Contrary to conventional wisdom, your brain is not there to determine truth. Its purpose is not to figure out what’s true and what’s not. That is your spirit’s job. That’s why discernment is a spiritual gift. Truth is spiritually discerned, not physically reasoned.

The natural man does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God. For they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. – 1 Corinthians 2:14

I’ll give you an example. Amazingly smart people who don’t know Jesus invented evolution. They sat down to “reason” how we got here, and decided we evolved from primates, who evolved from fish, who evolved from single-cell organisms, which ultimately evolved from non-living material in the primordial soup. Even though this theory violates the sciences of physics, biology, geology, statistics, paleontology, and engineering, you can’t talk them out of it. (That’s another post—if you want more info about how evolution violates science, shoot me an email.) Although they espouse “science,” the actual facts don’t matter to them. Because it’s not about science. It’s ultimately about a spiritual truth, the existence of God, that their spirits reject.

Their brain has rationalized their spiritual bias. And that’s what your brain is for—to plan, chart, and route the course to the destination your spirit selects, for better or worse. Your brain is your spirit’s GPS.

Your brain isn’t there to figure out your calling. Your brain is there to plan your calling.

When we ask ourselves, “What’s my calling?” and we try to figure it out intellectually, it typically brings up a lot of fear and frustration. Your brain is not able to determine your calling. That’s not what it’s for. Your GPS is really bad at selecting a destination. That’s your job. That’s not what your GPS is designed for. And your brain is not designed to determine truth. That’s your spirit’s job.

Now once you’ve selected a destination, your GPS is really good at showing you how to get there. That’s what it was designed for. Your calling is something your spirit knows. Once you embrace it, your brain is excellent at planning the route, helping you find the first steps to get there. Your brain is designed by God to route you to the destination your spirit selects.

Here’s a negative example. Atheists’ spirits have selected a godless destination, and their brains have routed the course. Not to open up a huge can of worms here, but the two greatest hoaxes perpetrated on the public in the name of “science” are evolution and climate change (formerly “global warming.” They’ve changed the name since global warming has been discredited, but it’s the same thing.) Evolution is there to rationalize away what God did at the beginning of time. Climate change is there to rationalize away what God’s about to do at the end of time. (If you read Revelation, the first several plagues are all environmental. When these things start happening, the culture will blame climate change to avoid admitting God’s trying to get our attention.)

On the positive side, Hebrews 10:39 says, “We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” So how do we, people of faith, use our brains to chart the destination to the calling God has for us?

Here’s 3 simple steps.

1) Set the destination.

Your spirit knows your calling. It makes your heart leap. What is that thing for you? 

It doesn’t have to be something spiritual. It can be fly-fishing or dancing or accounting. Remember the famous quote from the movie Chariots of Fire, about the UK’s Olympic track team? Eric Liddell said, “God made me for China, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure.” While he felt a call on his life to go to China, he also knew part of his calling was to run fast. 

If you truly don’t know what your calling is, ask your heart. It knows. Often, knowing is not the problem. Admitting it is. You need to admit it and embrace it. Let your mouth say it. Out loud. Tell someone. 

2) Let your brain plan the course.

Once you’ve identified your calling, your destination, use your brain to plan how to get there. That’s what your brain is for. 

There’s usually one obstacle that trips us up here — FEAR. Here’s a life-hack to get around the fear.

Be an actor. This is your chance to win an Academy Award. Play the role of someone who isn’t afraid of pursuing your calling. What would that person do? To put it another way, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?  Do that. Now your brain is working for you.

3) Take the first step.

Any movement is good movement. You really don’t have to worry about making a mistake. If you do, you’ll have learned something and can course-correct. So it’s a win-win once you ditch the fear.

Think of it as an experiment. Then if it fails, it was just an experiment. If what you try doesn’t work, you learn a valuable lesson. And then using what you’ve learned, use your brain to revise the plan and try again.

But if your baby-step works — Bonus! So you really can’t lose.

My Story

I got over my fear of moving forward into my calling with another life-hack — playing one fear against another. I was driving to work listening to Michael Hyatt interviewing best-selling author Jeff Goins. During the interview, Jeff said this, and it rocked my world:

“I got to the point where I was more afraid of not trying than I was of failing.” — Jeff Goins

That hit me right between the eyes. It raised a question I could not get out of my mind. What if, on that Day when I meet Jesus face-to-face, I see all the dominoes God had lined up to help me succeed, one event and “coincidence” after another, but they never fell because I never tipped over that first domino? That question haunted me. 

It should haunt you. What if God has resources already prepared to make your dream succeed, but you’re tying his hands because you won’t take that first step? How tragic would that be?

That’s what sent me down this road of being a writer. How am I doing? I’ve had failures and frustrations along the way. But I have learned so much.

Your Story

How about you? Now it’s your turn. This is your time. What makes your heart leap? What’s the first baby-step in that direction? Are you ready to try it? The truth is, you’ll never feel ready. Try it anyway. Let us know what happens. Tell us your story in the comments and please share if this would bless someone else.

Why the Biggest Enemy of Your Calling Is Your Excellence

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What’s the biggest thing standing in the way of your calling? The biggest enemy of your calling isn’t the Enemy himself (the devil), although he’s not a fan and can be a real pain in the neck. It’s not the obstacles in your way, like not enough time or money, or opposition from people you love, although those are real obstacles. It’s not even your limiting beliefs, although those can certainly hold us back and we need to learn to think differently.

The biggest thing standing in the way of you achieving your calling – that unique contribution you were born to make – is what you’re excellent at. What?!? Let me explain.

Your 4 Zones

This concept comes from the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (not an affiliate link). I highly recommend this book; it was a game-changer for me.

The activities in our lives fall into these 4 zones.

1) Zone of Incompetence. What you’re not good at. For me, it’s cooking, just ask my family. And there are many other things I don’t do well.

2) Zone of Competence. What you’re good at, but so are other people. I can drive a car. I can do my personal taxes. I can trim a hedge. I’m mediocre at those things, but I can do them. Other people can do them much better. I’m not an Indy race car driver. I get overwhelmed with business taxes. And while I can successfully use a hedger without injury, I can’t sculpt a hedge to look like a Disney princess.

3) Zone of Excellence. What you’re extremely good at. For me, it’s software engineering. I’ve done it for over 30 years. I’m exceptional at designing software and writing code. It’s a very comfortable place to be.

4) Zone of Genius. Your calling. That unique contribution you were born to make in the world. The thing, like Galadriel told Frodo, “If you don’t do it, no one will.” (Remember the Lord of the Rings movies?) For me, it’s writing. And music. I am not the best at them, but I am passionate about these two things.

Your zone of excellence is something you’re better at than most people. You excel at it so much that it’s comfortable. It’s safe. And that’s exactly what makes it the greatest enemy of your zone of genius.

Your zone of genius, that place of living in your calling, can be very uncomfortable. You might not do it well at first. You might need to learn some new skills. But it lights you up.

Here are 3 ways to move into your zone of genius.

1) Recognize It

The best way to recognize your zone of genius, your calling, is by your passion for it.

For example, while I’m extremely good at software engineering, I have absolutely zero passion for it. It’s all going to burn. None of my computer programs will be running in Heaven. I want to do something that’s going to last.

But writing changes lives. Janet and I are called to train the church how to embrace the wounded, and to speak truth to the culture. Writing’s a big part of that. We are partnering with Jesus to bring the Third Great Awakening. I’m passionate about that. That gets me up in the morning.

Another clue to your calling, your zone of genius, is where your creativity is. What spurs your imagination? What are you creative at?

I’m certainly not the best musician around, but I have a lot of creativity around music. Music is eternal; it speaks to your spirit. That’s why you can forget a conversation you had this morning but remember a song from 30 years ago.

It doesn’t have to be an art. I have a mechanical engineer friend who did a series of blog posts for Christmas, 12 Days of Hydraulic Happiness. This guy is creative about hydraulics! That’s a calling.

The other 3 zones, incompetence, competence, and excellence, are all about how good you are at something. But your zone of genius is different. It’s the thing you’re passionate and creative about. It’s the thing that makes your heart leap before your brain talks you out of it.

2) Suspend Disbelief & Admit It

Most of us don’t admit our calling because we don’t believe we can actually do it. Those lies are called limiting beliefs, and they don’t serve us. Sometimes it’s the Enemy putting negative thoughts in our head. Other times it’s our own brain trying to protect us from what we’re fearful of.

What if?

But, what if, you know? Suspend disbelief for a moment. What would it be like if you could actually do that thing? Do you dare let yourself even think about it? What would it be like to follow that passion, that creativity, in your heart?

Thank your brain for trying to protect you, but suspend disbelief and let yourself admit your passion. What’s the one thing you’d do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

3) Take the First Step

Suppose you’re watching a movie. At the end, the hero is successful at that thing you’re passionate about, your calling. What did they do at the beginning of the movie to get there? What steps did they take? What was their very first step?

Do that. Take that first step in the direction of your calling. Pretend you’re an actor playing that role. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Do that.

Maybe there are some skills you have to learn. Learn them. Writing this blog, I’ve gotten very good at WordPress (the software that runs this website), resizing & cropping images, and online marketing. These were skills I didn’t have before. And my writing has gotten so much better because I’m posting a blog every week. (When I go back now and look at my posts from that first year – oh my!  😛  We’ve come a long way!)

My first steps were getting my website off the ground, learning to send broadcast emails, all the things that go with running a blog. My next steps are getting this message out to more people. What’s the next (or first) step for you?

Your Turn

What challenged you in this post? What resonates? What is your calling? Admit it and tell us in the comments. This is a safe place. And please share this post if it would bless others.

Why Your Negative Past Is Key to Your Awesome Future

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Have you ever been paralyzed by your past? Have you ever wanted to do something that made your heart leap, but then dropped the idea because your past disqualified you? Maybe you were an addict or had an affair. Maybe it was an abortion or divorce. Fill in the blank for you.

The truth is, not only can God forgive and heal your past, but your past is actually key to God’s calling on your life. There are two important points here.

First, our past doesn’t derail God’s calling on our life.

But we can derail ourselves. Sometimes we sabotage our own destiny.

“I can’t write that book because I dropped out of college!”

“I can’t lead a marriage Bible study because I’m divorced!”

Sometimes our sabotage is subtle, unconscious, and just under the surface:

“I don’t deserve a healthy relationship after what I’ve done!”

But the good news is our past does not disqualify us from our future for one big reason. That’s not how God sees us. Check out this story.

Ok, so we’re in Damascus, first decade AD. A Christian named Ananias is out watering sheep, or doing whatever they did back then, when God shows up in a vision and calls him by name.

Ananias thinks this is awesome, until Jesus says, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He’s praying and I’ve given him a vision of you restoring his sight.”

Now Ananias thinks, “Snap, not so awesome.” He answers, “Lord, I saw this dude on Jerusalem Today. He was going house-to-house, dragging off Christians and throwing them in prison! And he’s come here to do the same thing! Look, I’ll show you on my iPhone. I’ve got it on YouTube right here.”

Ok, now this is where it gets interesting. Here’s what the Lord never said:

  • “Wow, I hadn’t heard that! I guess I picked the wrong guy. Must be a mix-up in the front office.”
  • “Thanks, Ananias, you really saved me from a big blooper there!”
  • “I sure am glad you’re on my team, Ananias! Way to be on the ball!”

Nope. Instead, the Lord gets a little testy with Ananias: “Go! Don’t you be talkin’ ‘bout my servant like that! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their Kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name’s sake.”

Ok, I took some creative license here, but you can read the real story in Acts 8:3 and 9:1-19.

Here’s the thing: Everything Ananias said about Saul was completely true. And the Lord completely ignored it. Instead of arguing with Ananias over Earth’s truth about Saul, the Lord responded with Heaven’s truth about Saul. “This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their Kings and before the people of Israel.”

Earth’s truth defines us by what we’ve done. But Heaven’s truth defines us by our calling, and that’s how God sees us. Heaven’s truth trumps earth’s truth every time, which is why your past doesn’t disqualify you. You are not what you’ve done.

When we agree with Heaven’s truth, admit the wrongs in our past, and turn from them so we don’t practice them anymore, like Saul did, that’s called repentance. Repentance totally blows our past away so it has no more power over us.

Second, our past is key to God’s calling on our life.

Back to Saul, soon to be the Apostle Paul. God knew the most challenging controversy in the first century church would be the confusion over whether Gentile converts had to be circumcised and keep the whole Law of Moses or not. There were some very persuasive Pharisees who became Christians and insisted they did. God felt otherwise, but who could stand up to the legalistic and opinionated Pharisees and logically make God’s point to the contrary? Certainly not some uneducated fishermen who could barely read or write!

What God needed was somebody who was himself circumcised on the eighth day, a Hebrew of Hebrews, somebody zealous for the Law who knew it as well as or better than the Pharisees causing all the trouble. If fact, God needed an ex-Pharisee.

Enter the Apostle Paul. He’s wasn’t just an ex-Pharisee, but an exceptional one. He studied under Gamaliel, the greatest Rabbi of that day. He excelled way beyond his peers and was extremely zealous (Galatians 1:14, Philippians 3:4-6). Paul could run circles around the other Pharisees with the Law. He was perfect. Paul’s past was key to God’s calling on his life.

After we repent and go through a season of healing, like Paul did, our past can be key to our future. We have authority over what we’ve been rescued from.

Dropped out of college? You’ve acquired real-life wisdom that makes you perfect to write that book.

Been divorced? You’re perfect to lead that marriage Bible study. You know where the traps and pitfalls are.

Had an affair or abortion? You’re perfect to lead others through the healing you’ve received. You know the pain they’re feeling.

And when you set others free from what you’ve been set free from, that’s revenge. Sweet revenge. Make the enemy sorry he ever messed with you! Make the devil need therapy! Woof!

So what’s Heaven’s truth about you? The Lord has a mission for you. Do you know what it is? It’s connected to your past. You are his chosen instrument for, what? Fill in the blank for you. What’s the passion that rises up in your heart when you think about it. Your past does not disqualify you from it. Your past is actually key to it.

Does this possibility make your heart leap? Does it resonate? Tell us your story in the comments or shoot us an email. And please share on social media if you think this would help or inspire someone else.

[Note: This post was inspired by Graham Cooke’s Living Your Truest Identity 3-CD audio series. I highly recommend it. This is not an affiliate link; we get no commission if you click the link or buy from Graham.]