#MelindaWilson Archives - IdentityInWholeness

What’s the most critical part of a building? Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? It’s all in the foundation. If the foundation isn’t right, it doesn’t matter how great the rest of the building is. The owner is going to have severe problems.

If the foundation of our relationship with God isn’t built on the right thing, we’re never going to live the abundant life Jesus came to give us (John 10:10). What is your relationship with God based on? What is the foundation?

Before we talk about what should be, here are 3 things that shouldn’t be the foundation of our relationship with God. Unfortunately, while these things are important, churches often teach them as the foundation. That’s a mistake.

(1) Not Obedience

Yes, obedience is important. We can’t love Jesus and live a sinful lifestyle (John 14:15, 1 John 2:3-6, 1 John 3:24). But if obedience is the foundation of our relationship with God, then Christianity is no better than Islam.

And, yes, Jesus ended the Sermon on the Mount with a parable about the foundation of putting his words into practice (Matthew 7:21-23). God’s principles work for whoever uses them; they are a great foundation to build your life on. But obedience to principles shouldn’t be the foundation of our relationship with God.

Churches teach obedience as the foundation when they are building their own Empire, instead of the Kingdom of God. Churches are often so afraid of people’s sin that they try to control it. But God doesn’t control sin; he deals with it. Church is not supposed to be sin management. It’s supposed to be life transformation.

While important, obedience isn’t the foundation of our relationship with God.

(2) Not Belief

Belief is important. Good doctrine is important. Faith is important. And while all are important to our Christian life, none of these should be the foundation.

Many churches have fallen into this trap. Again, if belief and good doctrine are the foundation of our relationship with God, then Christianity is no better than Islam.

Unfortunately in the West, we’ve exalted our intellect, gotten all up in our heads, and made idols out of logic, science, medicine, and technology. There’s nothing wrong with those things when kept in proper perspective.

But when we live like we have it all figured out, we devalue our hearts, which is where God wants to go. Jesus was much more concerned with the heart than the intellect. He said, “My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them” (John 14:23b). I don’t know anyone who thinks God wants to live in your brain.

Again, Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). He’s concerned more about where our hearts are than our logic and reason.

(3) Not Experience

Experiencing God is important, yes! We can’t say we know someone if we don’t experience them. But experience itself is not the foundation. If experience is our foundation, then Christianity is no better than Buddhism.

I love baseball. I have a great time whenever I go to a game with 20,000 of my closest friends. We share an experience, cheering on our favorite team. I spend several hours there having a great experience. But it’s entertainment. It’s not life-changing.

When we fall into this trap, our churches become entertainment instead of the life transforming hospital they are meant to be. You aren’t typically personal friends with your heart surgeon, even though you’ve had a life-saving experience with him or her.

Our Solid Foundation — Friendship

So what should the foundation of our relationship with God be? Friendship with Jesus.

Many former Christians are “deconstructing” their faith right now (“falling away” in Biblical terms), because, while they had the trappings of Christianity – obedience, belief, and even experience with Jesus – they never had friendship with Jesus. They never had that level of relationship.

“The foundation of our relationship with God is friendship. Friendship is the process of healing.” – Brain Orme

Friendship with God is being on a first name basis. That’s not a lack of respect. It’s asking God, “Hey, what do you think about what’s happening in the world right now?” instead of being told by the godless media what to think. We adopt his perspective, and see past the events and immediate circumstances of our lives.

We talk to him about our job, our family, our hopes and dreams. We share the ups and the downs, and we ask his advice. He’s got opinions. We do life with him, not just visit him for an hour or two on Sunday morning.

Friendship with God heals our orphan-spirit and sends us out as daughters and sons. Churchianity sends out orphans who just build more orphanages.

Friendship with God is a partnership with him for our life. He calls us to uncomfortable, often scary, action. But he promises to be with us; we’re never alone. We’re like a child learning to walk while holding their parents fingers – doing something we’ve never done before, while holding his hand.

So Who’s Your Friend?

What is the foundation of your relationship with God? Obedience? Belief? Experience? Or friendship? Did this post challenge you to think differently? Tell us in the comments; we want to hear from you. What do you think? And please share this post if it would bless others.

Credit where Credit Is Due

The concepts in this post come from the Face to Face podcast, hosted by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson; in particular; Episode 107, an interview with Brian Orme, author of The Ascended Life (not affiliate links). I highly recommend their podcast.

I recently listened to Dr Curt Thompson on the Face-to-Face podcast with Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson (the episode on 1/18/2022].

Dr. Curt Thompson said something that blew my mind. It’s a simple thing, something where you might say, “oh that’s nice,” and just move on with your day. But if you stop and think about it, this changes everything.

There’s one word in scripture that could be transliterated into a different English word. It’s the Hebrew word for “good.” Dr Thompson said “good” could also be transliterated as “beautiful.”

Oh, that’s nice. No, stop and think about it! Think about your favorite passages using the word “good” in scripture, and instead use the word “beautiful.”

When God created the world in Genesis 1, after each day of creation it says, “… and God saw that it was good.” But what if “… and God saw that it was beautiful” better captures the essence of the original language? Then, when God made people, “… and God saw that it was very good” becomes “… and God saw that it was very beautiful.” Does that change everything?

From Evaluating to Gazing

Good and bad are things we evaluate. We discern good vs bad. And we should. Not correctly discerning good vs bad is causing a lot of pain, confusion, and evil in the world right now.

But when our concept of God goes from “good” to “beautiful,” it changes everything. This takes it to a whole new level. Our hearts get involved. We stop evaluating him, and we just want to look at him. To gaze at him. To spend precious time with him. More.

As the good shepherd (John 10), I evaluate Jesus. My logic evaluates that, yes, he meets the definition of “good,” so I discern I can trust him. But although my head agrees, my heart still holds back.

But when he becomes the beautiful shepherd, now I just want to look at him. Because beauty is something my heart discerns. My heart is involved now. It’s captured. Is this the beauty I’ve been longing for and been afraid to believe existed?

“Good” is discerned with the brain, while “beautiful” is discerned with the heart.

As a good father, I evaluate God. My brain discerns that, ok, his discipline really is for my good. Intellectual ascent. Boxed checked, let’s get on with my day.

But as a beautiful father, my heart pauses. I just want to sit in his lap for one more timeless moment. Daddy, read me a story…

And I weep. All my pain comes out as I press into his chest, held safely by him like a hen gathers her chicks under her wing (Luke 13:34). Because he’s reading me the story of me. How he sees me. Who he created me to be. Who I really am.

The Lost Art of Gazing

In our modern world, we’ve forgotten how to stop and gaze. And we’re the poorer for it. I’ve got a schedule to keep! And that’s all good. It’s productive. But it’s not beautiful. Stopping to gaze at beauty is beautiful.

“Stop and smell the roses” became “stop and smell the coffee.” That’s a great joke that I’ve used and enjoyed many times myself and there’s nothing wrong with it. But as I’m writing this, I wonder. Is there a subtle shift there? With roses, you actually have to stop to smell them. But coffee you can take with you, no stopping required. So we’ve missed the whole point then haven’t we? The point was never in the smelling, but in the stopping.

We can only gaze at beauty when we stop.

Stop and Gaze

If you’re married, have you stopped to gaze at your spouse lately? Try this exercise. Sit on the couch together. Set a timer for three minutes. No words. Just gaze lovingly at each other. Whatever that means.

Don’t stare – you can blink. You can look away. But gaze. Dr. Thompson says it’s really awkward for the first 90 seconds or so. But when the timer goes off, many couples don’t want to stop. How would our marriages change if we just took three minutes a day to gaze at each other?

How about Jesus? Do we stop and gaze at him? Are we willing to make the jump from “good” to “beautiful” and engage our hearts?

Bible studies are great; we should all do more. But how would our lives changed if stopped to just gaze at him with no agenda for a few precious minutes each day?