How to Get Out of Our Head

One of the biggest obstacles we’ve seen to people receiving healing is when they are all caught up in their own head. There are entire denominations that have intellectualized the Bible, believing the lie that the battle is all in the mind.

Yes, there certainly is a battle in the mind, in our thoughts. But that battle is just the fruit of another battle which too many Christians completely ignore as irrelevant. The battle for our heart. That’s where the real, foundational battle takes place. Once we win the battle for our heart, that battle over our mind is easy.

If we’re having difficulty winning the battle in our mind, that’s a sign that there’s wounding in our heart God wants to heal. There are lies deep in our heart that need to be replaced with God’s truth.

Our heart decides what we’re going to believe or not. Our mind’s job is to rationalize that decision.

In the Bible, in God’s economy, there’s no wall between the head and the heart like we have in Western culture. That’s why the Bible says:

• “For out of the heart come evil thoughts …” – Jesus, Matthew 15:19, Mark 7:21
• “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” – Jesus, John 4:24 (that is, heart and mind together)
• You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. – Deuteronomy 6:5 (wow, intellect didn’t make the list)
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. – Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived, Proverbs 3:5
• These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. – Isaiah 29:13

The last two verses above actually place the heart over the mind. God cares a lot more about the state of our heart than he does about our theology. That’s an offensive statement to many Christians today, but it’s true.

That doesn’t mean theology is unimportant, or it’s ok to believe nonsense. But if our heart is wounded and separated from God  by the lies we believe, our perfect theology and Bible knowledge doesn’t matter. Just ask the Pharisees.

So Why Don’t We Go There?

So, if that’s where the main battle is, why don’t we go there? Why is there such a resistance to addressing the things of the heart? Here are 5 reasons why.

1. It hurts. It’s a lot less painful to stay in our intellect.
2. Pride. We don’t want to be the needy, hurting, broken person. It’s embarrassing. We’d rather focus on helping others, which keeps our pain safely hidden while we look noble.
3. Fear, always the flip-side of pride. Pain is scary. It takes a brave person to be willing to go there.
4. We cope. Many of us would rather just keep coping than be healed. Actually, coping is just socially acceptable denial.
5. We don’t have to. Yet. But God won’t allow our coping to work forever.

Coping is socially acceptable denial.

Without getting healing ourselves, we minister to others out of our wounding, and that never goes well. We can do more harm than good. We don’t let people go to their pain to receive real healing, because it reminds us of the pain we’ve shoved down. So we shame them:

• “Just choose joy.” In God’s heart is both joy and weeping. They are not mutually exclusive. How else did “Song of Songs” and “Lamentations” end up in the same Bible?
• “That’s in the past. It’s under the blood. Let it go.” While, yes, everything in the past is under the blood, there’s a mile of difference between being forgiven and being healed. And if past trauma is still producing current pain, it’s not in the past at all, is it?
• “If you’re sad, are you even saved? Why aren’t you full of the joy of the Lord? Why don’t you just claim God’s promises?” Joy doesn’t mean life is all happiness, rainbows, and unicorns. In fact, Jesus promised we’d have trouble in this world (John 16:33). He walks through the dark with us; he never told us to pretend it’s not dark.

Fortunately, in his great mercy and love for us, God brings a season where what worked before no longer works for us. That’s a clue there’s something in our heart God wants to heal. It doesn’t feel like mercy at the time, but it’s God’s timing. Go into the pain so he can heal it.

God doesn’t want to re-traumatize us all over again. But we need to get in touch with the pain enough for God to heal it. Like a surgeon saving a gunshot victim, he has to open the wound to remove the bullet and repair the damage.

But when we intellectualize everything and are unwilling to go into our pain, we’re like the patient jumping off the operating table. What’s the doctor supposed to do? All he can do is just wait for the ailment to get bad enough for the patient to return.

How to Get Out of Our Head – Facing the Fear

Has our theology become more important to us than the heart of God?

Intellectualizing everything does have its advantages:

• Rationalization. Our beliefs don’t have to affect our behavior.
• Safety. We don’t have to do anything scary or painful.
• Acceptance. We have the culture’s approval. Bonus!

But that eventually comes to a bad end, because it’s a false safety. If we want to get out of that trap, here are 5 ways to get out of our own way, out of our head, and face our fear.

1. Repent of intellectual pride. Accept that we may not have it all figured out, and that’s ok.
2. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you any pain you’ve shoved down that he wants to heal.
3. Go there. Take a trusted friend, spouse, counselor, parent, pastor, and/or priest along on the journey. Go into the pain. Jump up on God’s operating table.
4. Get professional help. Most of us need a mix of counseling, inner healing, and deliverance. There’s no shame in getting help when we need it, and it’s foolish not to.
5. Recognize the layers and seasons. When we have a mile of reaction to an inch of offense, that’s a clue God wants to heal something. When current events trigger stuff we thought was forgiven and healed long ago, that’s a sign God wants to give us another layer of healing and freedom.

Your Turn

Has this post touched or challenged you? How much are you up in the “safety” of your head, versus the painful places of your heart? Tell us your story in the comments and share this post if it would bless others.