For a long time, I thought one of the beatitudes was, “Blessed are the peace keepers…” But that’s not what Jesus said. He said, “Blessed are the peacemakers…” There’s a huge difference between keeping the peace and making peace. I can speak to this because I made this mistake for decades in my own life. […]
Every relationship pursues one of these two goals. Every relationship protects one of these two things. Either connection or distance. That’s it. Terrified of What We Desperately Long For The truth is, we all long for connection, for intimacy. We long to be fully known, accepted, and loved. And there’s the rub. We’re terrified that […]
We all yearn for relationships. God, as the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), is in relationship within himself. And we were created in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). So we were created specifically for relationships, with God and with each other. We are hard-wired by God to need relationships. We can’t be healthy without them. […]
Accountability groups, or accountability partners, are big in some Christian circles. But, while well-intentioned, accountability’s not all it’s cracked up to be. What you actually need is support, not accountability. Here are 4 reasons why. 1) Support Helps, Accountability Controls The critical difference between accountability and support is that accountability is “friendly” control, while support […]
If you’ve been watching The Chosen, you’ve seen a brilliant (fictitious) example of Jesus de-escalating conflict in Season 3 Episode 8. Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t seen it, go watch it, then come back and read this post. [Aside: If you’re new to The Chosen, it’s a multi-season show about the life of Christ through […]
Thomas just wanted peace in his home. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? He lived in constant fear of his wife leaving. All she had to do to get her way was yell at him, and he’d capitulate. Even if he knew it wasn’t the right thing, he did whatever was necessary to keep the […]
Everything we do in life is driven by one of these two things. At the end of the day, these are the only two motivations in the human experience. Everything we do is driven by either our wounding or our calling. Here’s an example. Bob and Ted both help their church one Saturday morning a […]
I’ve seen a lot of questions recently from people, particularly men, trying to sort out balancing ministry and family. Questions like: These questions come from a false dichotomy – having to choose either family or ministry. But that’s a false choice. Family is ministry. Every Relationship Is a Ministry. The hardest choices are choosing between […]
Can we be honest without being mean? Our churches have taught us to be “good” people. To be nice. To be kind. And that’s good – kindness is a fruit of the spirit, after all (Galatians 5:22-23). The problem is, with too many churches, it stops right there. Be nice. Be affirming. Don’t rock the […]
We all understand that abuse is harmful. It leaves deep scars and wounds on our heart, especially when committed by the people who should have loved us. That’s Type B trauma—a “Bad” thing happened. We all get that abuse is really bad. But Type A trauma—the “Absence” of the necessary good thing—is still trauma. But […]