How to Change How You See Yourself with 2 Words
“I’m learning.” These are the most powerful two words we can say. They will completely change our mindset about how we see ourselves. And they shut down the accusations in our head.
For example, when “I’m so disorganized” becomes “I’m learning to be organized,” that’s a total game changer. You no longer see yourself as a disorganized person.
The most destructive lie we can believe about ourselves is, “That’s just the way I am.”
That is one of my personal pet peeves. Don’t get me started. More than anything else, this lie shuts down any growth in our lives. It gives us permission to stew in victimhood.
Instead, saying “I’m learning to …” puts us in a whole new light. It gives us permission to not be doing it perfectly yet. It gives us permission to keep trying even when we make mistakes. And it reframes those mistakes as a necessary part of learning.
When you say, “I’m learning,” you’ve accepted a new reality about yourself in your heart. Because that’s where our beliefs about ourselves, and hence our words, come from.
Jesus explained it this way.
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” – Jesus, Matthew 15:19
And again:
“A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth good; and an evil man, out of the evil treasure of his heart, brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” –Jesus, Luke 6:45
Negative thoughts about yourself start in your heart, not your head. Contrary to conventional wisdom, your brain doesn’t figure out what you believe. It rationalizes it.
Your heart decides what you want to believe, and your brain justifies it. That’s your brain’s job. (More about that here.)
So if your heart decides, “I’m just a disorganized person,” your brain will magnify every disorganized thing in your house, car, and workspace to reinforce and justify that belief. Your mind will be presented with an unorganized mountain of chaos that can never be tamed to rationalize what your heart believes.
On the other hand, if you choose to say, “I’m learning to be an organized person,” then your brain sees everything as a possibility. It goes to work to figure out how that cluttered area could be different.
The words we say and think about ourselves decide whether our brain sees all the negative evidence or all the positive possibilities.
Since God created us as integrated spiritual and physical beings, our behavior and our identity do this dance together. You can change what your heart believes by the words you choose to say.
Your Turn
What story do you tell yourself about yourself? What words do you use to describe yourself? What do you choose to believe about yourself? Have you learned to change the narrative?
Just learning to say “I’m learning” is a huge step forward. Do you have a negative narrative in your head that needs to change? If you’ve come out of that, tell us how in the comments. Your story will inspire others. And please share this post to get this message out to more readers.
Dave – I love this post. As a teacher I try to get my students to add the word “yet” after they make a statement that starts with “I can’t….”.
I actually love ALL your posts Dave!!!
“I can’t … yet.” I love that. That’s right in line with this post. Your students are fortunate to have you, Monica.
And thank you for the compliment, I’m glad the blog blesses you.
I’m so looking forward to going through this post, and another of your’s that I pulled from my saved files last night: “How to Live from Your Future, Not Your Past, with Two Simple Lists.”
Two lists, two words. They both dovetail beautifully.
And joined together they provide me a wonderful, inviting, Spirit-led way (yes, His timing’s prepared me perfectly for this task) of assessing a number of negatives in my life (things I’m lousy at and long to see change in) and begin venturing with the Lord in an entirely different way of addressing these needs for change.
How invigorating! How hopeful!
Isn’t this JUST LIKE our Lord?
“His “kindness” leads us to repentance!”
Thankyou, Dave, for being the carrier of His gentle, wise, kindness, to us.
We SO appreciate it.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Thank you so much Naomi! I love your comments. This is why I write, to impact people’s lives. Thank you so much for sharing how these posts have touched you!
I’m learning to appreciate who I am in God’s plan. My personality and idiosyncrasies are tools to exam God’s intent for my place in His Kingdom! It is a fascinating journey.
That is beautiful, Charlene!
I love it! I’m learning my contribution does have value and needs to be presented to the world.
Thank you Dan! Your comment means the world to me. That’s why I write.