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Why New Year Is in the Dead of Winter

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It’s fascinating to me that our New Year here in Western culture occurs in the dead of Winter. I know other cultures’ New Year occurs at different times of the year, and that’s great. I’m sure God is speaking to all cultures with the timing of their New Year celebration, but I’m only qualified to write about my own culture. What is God saying to us?

Wouldn’t it make more sense for the New Year to be at the start of Spring, when everything’s budding and coming back to life? Maybe in some cultures it is; what an awesome time that must be. But God worked through our history to make our New Year when all the leaves are off the trees and everything’s dead. Why do you suppose that is?

I’ve heard a pastor say that leaves don’t actually change color in Fall. They reveal the true color they actually are when not getting overridden by all that green chlorophyll. The point he was making is, in the Autumn of your life, your true colors will show.

What are your hidden colors? Do they reflect the grace and healing of God’s empowerment in your life, or do they still reflect your wounding?

There’s nothing wrong, by the way, with being in a place of wounding. Acknowledging where you’re at is the first step to get healing. Run to God in those times, not away from him. The problem comes when we run away from God and to our chlorophyll of choice to hide our wounded colors, in our own strength.

What is your chlorophyll of choice? Control? Addiction? Entitlement? Performance?

Have you ever wondered why we don’t go straight from Fall to Spring? After all, why can’t the new leaves just push out the old? Why do we have to go through a cold, bare-root season first? Why do we have to get stripped down to nothing? Maybe there’s something necessary going on inside the trunk of the tree that’s getting ready for Spring. Maybe Spring couldn’t come without this time of preparation.

What happens when circumstances and struggles reveal our wounding and our chlorophyll of choice stops working? What happens when all the leaves are off the trees of our lives? Maybe when we’re stripped down to the bare trunk, maybe that’s when we hear God best. Maybe because then we have to and we don’t have any other choice. Maybe out of his great love and mercy for us, he’s stripped away everything that distracted us from his voice.

I think God considers that place the beginning. That’s where his New Year starts. Because when all the outside is stripped away, there’s nothing left but to work on the heart. And that’s what he’s always wanted, to heal our wounding and give us a new heart.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

I’m up for that. My hidden colors were worthlessness and rejection. The lie I believed was, “I am unlovable.” My chlorophyll of choice was being nice, being a servant to all. Dying to myself, literally, to a fault. My bitter root expectation was, “You’re going to reject me. So I’m not going to give you a reason. I’m going to be as lovable as possible, so that when (not if) you reject me, it’s on you.” In inner healing lingo, we call this a bitter root expectation.

God had to take me through a bare-root, cold Winter season. He had to strip away all the false leaves and false colors I used to protect my heart, in order to take that structure of lies and inner vows and bitter root expectations down.

Ironically, it’s when I started coming out of those lies that all disaster broke loose. My family fell apart and disintegrated. It hurt. But it was a season. It was only a season (a long season, several years), and I’m coming through it now. Sometimes the enemy’s greatest deception is to trick us into believing the painful season we’re in is forever, which brings desperation and despair. It’s not forever. It’s only a season. Trusting God brings hope through the pain.

He’s still working on me, but I’ve come a long way. He’s brought me into a fresh, bright Spring the last few years. He’s restored relationships I thought would never be restored, while others I still wait for. And he’s using his chlorophyll to work his colors into me.

How about you? What season are you in, here at the turn of the New Year? Tell us in the comments. If you’re in a cold, Winter, bare-root season, we’d love to pray with you. If you’ve come through such a season, please share your story; it will encourage others. And please share on social media if you think this post would bless others.

How to Walk a Hard Road with 4 Mindsets

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Too often, “how to walk a hard road” isn’t something we talk about enough in Western Christianity. Our life is so comfortable, on the outside at least, that too often we neglect talking about walking hard roads. And yet, although we have freedoms and conveniences, our lives can be just as painful and torn as those suffering in third world countries.

Our favorite TV series, The Chosen, has a scene in Season 1, Episode 8, about 16 minutes into the episode, where Nicodemus and his wife Zohara talk about walking hard roads. They are talking about Hagar, who bore Abraham’s son Ishmael. (You can read the story of Hagar, and how God met with her twice, in Genesis 16:1-16, 17:24-26, and 21:9-21.)

Nicodemus: “Hagar was caught up in something complicated and fraught, but not of her choice. And yet, God saw her, and he knew the path she was forced to take would not be an easy one.”

Zohara: “When we stumble onto hard roads, he finds us and comforts us.”

Nicodemus: “Or does he call us to them?”

Too often in Western Christianity, we approach life with Zohara’s response: It’s God’s job to comfort us in our pain. There is an element of truth to that. God does find us and comfort us. After all, Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the Comforter (John 14:26).

But I think Nicodemus was on to something here. While, yes, God comforts us when we find ourselves on hard roads, often he’s the one calling us to walk the hard road.

But we have a choice. The world gives us a plethora of other alternatives. Plenty of ways to medicate the pain. Plenty of distractions to otherwise occupy our time. Anything to keep us off that hard road God is calling us to and the impact it will have. Because walking our hard road will encourage other to walk theirs.

“A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.” – Psalm 91:7

One person choosing to walk one hard road shatters ten thousand demonic strongholds for others. While we won’t know the full impact until we see Jesus, our walking our hard road terrifies the Kingdom of Darkness, which does see the effects. They see strongholds they’ve invested generations building up come crashing down in a day, all because one follower of Jesus chose to walk a hard road. That could be you. If you choose to walk your hard road, demons will need therapy. It sucks to be them.

So you matter. Walking the hard road Jesus is calling you to matters. So how do you do it? Here are 4 mindsets to choose while walking a hard road.

1) The “Uncompromising Decision” Mindset

My dad always used to be first in line for birthday cake or whatever other sweets were offered around the office. Until he was diagnosed with diabetes. Then he dropped sweets cold-turkey. People would ask him how he did that so consistently, without cheating at all. He’d answer, “Simple. I can’t have them.”

“100% is easier than 98%” — Benjamin Hardy

Decide. The mindset of uncompromising decision is our primary defense against the world. My dad found that “I can’t have any sweets” was a much easier road to walk than “how many sweets can I have?”

2) The “On Your Face” Mindset

When you’re walking a hard road, I highly recommend lots and lots of facetime before God. No, I’m not talking about the Apple app. I’m talking about physically lying, face-down into the carpet, before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. This mindset is a posture of the heart (and often of the body) of humility before the Lord.

I was literally on my face before God, crying out for his intervention in my marriage and my family, for at least 18 months. I’d be on the floor in the corner of the room during worship time at church. I’d be on the floor of my office at home in the early morning hours when no one else was awake. I’d park in some distant spot in a remote parking lot during the day, because home wasn’t safe, and pour out my heart to God.

And I eventually saw God move, although not the way I wanted. Everyone has a choice. My wife left. The divorce devastated my children and continues to. It was the worst time in my life. But God was faithful and brought Janet. God has restored my calling, brought tremendous healing, and Janet and I walk out our callings that dove-tail so beautifully together.

3) The “Manage Your Influences” Mindset

After being diagnosed with diabetes, my dad didn’t frequent bakeries. While he could say “no” to sweets offered to him by others, he didn’t put himself in situations where it would be any harder than it had to be.

If you’re struggling with pornography, don’t watch movies with nudity or that glorify sex outside of marriage. Don’t listen to music that glorifies sex outside of marriage or objectifies women.

“The eyes are the window to your soul.” – William Shakespeare

Your senses are the toll booths guarding your heart. Guard your eye gates and ear gates.

If you’re trying to stop smoking, don’t go to the vape shop or hang with friends who smoke. If you’re struggling with alcoholism, don’t go to a bar or hang with friends who drink.

This mindset removes negative influences from your life. This means you might have to let go of certain friends. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring you godly friends who support the hard road you’re walking, instead of trying to pull you off it.

But I’m trying to reach them for Jesus! That’s good, that’s noble. But if they are pulling you back into a sinful lifestyle, you’re not reaching them for Jesus. They are reaching you for Satan, and you need to let them go. Put them in God’s hands, and trust that he will reach out to them through someone else who will not be compromised by them.

There is one relationship you can’t walk away from, and that’s with your spouse. If your spouse is a wet-blanket on your calling, I’ve put together a one-page resource just for you. You can download it here. Let me know if it’s helpful and how we can pray and support you.

Download the Guide
“7 Ways to Deal with a
Wet Blanket Spouse”

4) The “Focus on Eternity” Mindset

This mindset focuses on eternity, knowing that our hard road in this life is only a vapor compared to our eternity with Jesus (James 4:14).

Francis Chan says it much better than I can. Please watch this 4-minute video of The Rope.

So How About It?

What hard road are you walking? How can we support you on it? You’re not the only one, and your story will help others. So please leave a comment, and share this post to bless others.

5 Ways to Validate Someone’s Pain

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People come to church in silent pain, isolated and hurting. “Look at all these happy people getting close to God. I’m the only one who’s faking it.” Nothing could be further from the truth. But we drive people to internalize and hide their pain because, by and large, the church doesn’t know how to help somebody who’s hurting.

Too many of our churches are not safe places for people to admit they’re in pain, whether it’s depression, being post-abortive, struggling with self-harm or suicide, or what have you. But we have to figure this out. If you can’t go to the people of God when you’re in crisis, where can you go?

I hope this post is a positive step toward remedying this situation. Helping someone who’s hurting starts by validating their pain. Here are 5 great ways to do that.

1) Get Comfortable with Silence.

Think about it. Everything in our modern Western world is designed to protect us from one thing. Silence.

“I really need to spend some quiet, reflective time. I think I’ll get on FaceBook,” said no one ever. If we’re not careful, our lives can get driven by notifications. Someone reacted to your post! Text message! Look who added to their Instagram story!

I’m not knocking social media. They are great communication tools, and they’re fun. They have their place. But we’ve inadvertently engineered ourselves into a world with no silence.

So when we’re talking to someone who’s hurting, we don’t like an “awkward silence.” So we break it too soon. But the other person needed that silence.

Silence is healing. They are processing in the silence, and if you break it too soon, you can rob them of what God is doing in that moment. Sometimes just waiting for them to form the words speaks volumes more than anything you could’ve said.

There’s a great model for this in the book of Job. Job’s friends often get a (well-deserved) bad rap. But they actually got it right for a whole week when they showed up and just sat with him in silence, in the ashes of his life.

They sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him because they saw how great his suffering was. – Job 2:13

Then Job’s friends opened their mouths, and it was all downhill from there.

The point is, when you’re trying to comfort someone who’s hurting or grieving, don’t be the one to break the silence. Let them break it when they’re ready.

2) Acknowledge their Pain with Reflective Listening.

When someone shares their pain with you, don’t judge it, dismiss it, or minimize it. Reflect it back to them in your own words. Some examples of good things to say are:

  • “So do you feel like …?”
  • “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. That must really hurt.”
  • “Tell me more about that.”

This is not a politician’s hollow “I feel your pain” so they can manipulate a vote out of you. No, they don’t feel your pain. For the most part, they have no idea. (Aside: Never vote for anyone who says “I feel your pain” because they’re lying already.)

This is an honest attempt to truly listen and hear, not only what the person said, but how they feel. By reflecting back what you thought you heard, you communicate that you’re trying to hear their heart.

3) Don’t Say “I Understand”

One of the worst things you can say is “I understand.” The truth is, you don’t understand. You’re not them, and you haven’t been through what they’re going through. No, you really haven’t.

Even if you’ve been through something similar, you’re not them. Your backgrounds and make-up are different. Your needs are different. Your support system is different.

When we say, “I understand,” we minimize their pain. We trivialize what they’re going through. Instead, a great thing to say is, “I have no grid for what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.”

4) Don’t Share Your Story. Shut Up and Listen.

This is not time to share your similar story. They don’t need to hear your story. They need you to hear theirs. In their pain, their heart needs to speak and be heard. They need you to listen and make sure they feel heard.

They need you to hear their heart. When the other person is talking, most people aren’t really listening. They’re politely waiting to talk.

When we share our story, we take the focus off of them and put it on us. We’re telling them, “Your experience is common. I went through it. I got through it. You will too.” While that sounds great on paper and may even be true, that’s not what they need to hear right now.

They need to hear that they were heard. They need to hear that their pain is legitimate, and you’re not shaming them for it. (So often we blame trauma survivors because we’re trying to make sense of an unsafe world.)

Don’t blame them. Validate their pain. “That must really hurt,” is a great thing to say.

After you validate their pain, after they feel heard, then you earn the right to ask them if you can share your story. At the right time, your story might truly be helpful to them. But keep it short. They don’t need all the gory details. Get the focus back onto them as soon as you can.

5) Be Their Friend, Not Their Counselor

You don’t have to fix them. And, frankly, they don’t want to be fixed. They want to be healed. And the first step toward healing is being heard. If you do nothing else, communicate to them that you’ve heard their pain. Not understood it or felt it, because you don’t. But you’ve heard it.

When they believe they’ve been heard, you’ve validated their pain. You’ve validated their story. You’ve validated their worth as a person and as a child of God.

Offer to help them find good help, whether it’s pastoral or professional counseling, or whatever resources their situation requires. Always ask first, don’t impose a solution, but give them options and the freedom to choose to take them or leave them without condemnation from you. They need to drive their healing, not you, although you can respectfully suggest possible routes.

There’s nothing more rewarding than being a friend to someone in their time of need. There’s nothing more rewarding than being there, not necessarily being the person with all the right answers, but being the person who was just there when they needed us.

This is how we, as Jesus’ hands and feet, can support those in crisis who need us. This is how we can make our churches safe places for people in crisis. And we’ll be grateful for that safe place in our time of need as well.

Your Turn

What do you think? What’s your story? Please tell us your story in the comments; it will help others. And please share this post if it would bless other people.

2 Simple Words to Defeat the Bullies

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No one likes to be bullied. Yet in our modern, sophisticated world, our enemy’s primary method of controlling the people of God is bullying. The church has been bullied into compliance for far too long. The good news is, whether it’s a personal bully or a societal one, like an unrighteous government, there are two, simple, one syllable words that defeat a bully. “Yes” and “no.”

“Yes, I’m going to do this because God’s calling me to it, come what may.”

“No, I’m not going to do that because it’s wicked, come what may.”

A Litmus Test to Know You’re Being Bullied

These two words draw a line in the sand. Bullies hate that. Bullies try to force you into the world of “maybe.”

“Ok, maybe I can do that…”

“Ok, maybe we’ll wait a little longer before doing that…”

If a bully can force you into a “maybe” when you really want to say “yes” or “no,” they’ve won. They are controlling you. And that’s the litmus test to know that you’re being bullied: If your mouth says “maybe” while your spirit is screaming “yes” or “no,” then you are being bullied.

Stand up to them and say the “yes” or “no” your spirit longs to say, come what may. This is what bravery and courage looks like in our first world culture.

“Yes” and “No” Made the Sermon on the Mount

This concept made the Sermon on the Mount. Recorded in Matthew chapters 5, 6 , and 7, this was early in Jesus’ ministry, before strong opposition forced him to speak more and more in parables. In the Sermon on the Mount, although it still has parables for illustration, Jesus teaches about the Kingdom of God very plainly. He said this about saying “yes” and “no.”

“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” – Jesus, Matthew 5:37

Now, to be fair, Jesus was talking here about always telling the truth and not needing to take an oath to be believed. But there’s a principle here. Say “yes.” Say “no.” And stand behind your answer, come what may.

In the Fiery Furnace

We all know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (or Rack, Shack & Benny if you’re into Veggie Tales) and the fiery furnace in Daniel 3.

King Nebuchadnezzar set up a massive golden image, and demanded everyone worship it when the music played. Penalty for non-compliance was being burned alive in a furnace.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused and were narked on by their jealous colleagues. Being the reasonable man he was, King Nebuchadnezzar assumed it was all a misunderstanding and gave them another chance to show their compliance. I love their answer, recorded in Daniel 3:16-18.

“King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the fiery furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” – Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3:16-18)

I love that. “Our God can save us, but even if he doesn’t, we want you to know we’re not worshiping your idol.” Translation: They said “no.”

The Bully King blew a gasket. Bullies hate a solid “yes” or “no.” It takes away all their power.

And because of their solid “no,” come what may, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, along with King Nebuchadnezzar, experienced one of the greatest saves by God recorded in the entire Bible. Their uncompromising “no” was the catalyst for the mighty move of God in their lives.

When we compromise our “yes” or our “no” because we’re afraid of the bully in front of us, we compromise God’s ability to work in our lives. What mighty move of God is not happening in your life right now because of a compromised “yes” or “no”?

Bullying Outdoor Diners

In the summer of 2020, a disturbing video came out showing a large crowd of protestors surrounding and shouting at outdoor diners at a restaurant in downtown Washington, DC. The protestors wanted the diners to make a gesture of solidarity with their cause.

All the diners complied, except two. One couple silently refused. They kept their eyes locked on each other, being each other’s anchor of strength in what must have been an ocean of fear. They didn’t say a word as the protestors got in their face, screaming at them to make the gesture.

The spiritual warfare going on became obvious when a lead protestor started shouting at them, “Why won’t you do it? Are you Christians? Is that why you won’t do it?” I thought, wow. I think that protestor realized true Christians, once they decide to stand, cannot be bullied, and it would only make the protestors look worse to continue trying. So the crowd moved on.

Governments Bullying Churches

Worshipping Jesus without government interference should be a no-brainer.

Yes, nobody wants to get coronavirus. Social distancing, not passing collection plates, individual communion elements, wearing masks in common areas are all good ideas. Covid-19 is a real thing, and we all want to be safe.

But nobody tells us we can’t gather together and worship our God, even if we have to do it in our cars or virtually. Especially while the same government allows liquor stores and abortion centers to remain open. Especially while these same governors are photographed at their social events without masks or social distancing.

There may come a time when Christian practice is outlawed for “public safety.” This has been done before.

Nero burned down Rome, blamed the Christians, and persecuted them as domestic terrorists. If the media said in-person church services were responsible for spreading a deadly virus, whether it was true or not, would many communities have mobs burning down churches “for the public safety”?

We could be closer to that nightmare scenario than many of us realize. In that event, are we prepared to still tell the government, “yes,” we will continue to worship our God? If that time comes, we’ll have a lot to learn from our brothers and sisters in China.

Your Turn

How have you stood up to bullies? Did it involve saying “yes” or “no” and sticking with it? Tell us your story in the comments, and please share this post to encourage others.

How to Find Meaning in Your Pain by Doing These Two Things

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[Author’s Note: Many thanks to Elijah House. Many of the concepts in this post are from their teaching on The Spiritual Development of the Believer.]

There’s a part of the Gospel that we too often neglect. It’s uncomfortable, and our modern world is all about catering to our comfort. But this forgotten part of the gospel is critical to living a deeply satisfying, fulfilling, and thriving life. That type of life only comes from spiritual maturity. And maturity, spiritual or otherwise, only comes from this.

Suffering and pain. Doh! There, I said it! Don’t bounce! Please keep reading!

What if Laura Story was right?

“What if the trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?” – Laura Story, from the song Blessings

What if God works through the pain we suffer in this life—whether from our own sin, someone’s sin against us (which is never your fault!), or just the pain of living in this fallen world—what if God is working through it all for our good, to bring us into maturity? Isn’t that in the Bible somewhere? (Hint: See Romans 8:28.)

“Maturity and wisdom only come through a suffering experience.” – John Sandford

In my youth, I used to be very judgmental and very naïve. I was judgmental toward people I didn’t know well. Why can’t they straighten up and fly right, and live righteously like me? After I suffered through a 20+ year emotionally abusive marriage, my wife left, and I found myself getting a divorce, then I had a lot more compassion for people with broken marriages.

Conversely and naïvely, I gave a blank check to people I knew personally. I took for granted they brought the same objectivity and selfless motives to the table that I did. I found out very painfully, both through my divorce and in a failed church I was part of, that people aren’t always trying to solve the problem in the best way for everyone involved. Sometimes people are just trying to win.

Experience is a cruel teacher of both compassion and truth.

That sounds contradictory, but it’s true. Suffering makes us:

  • More humble, yet more bold.
  • Less defensive, yet more vulnerable.
  • Repent quicker and forgive quicker.
  • Give up self-centeredness in favor of self-sacrifice.
  • Able to speak the truth in love.

Although we try, we are genuinely not able to speak the truth in love until we’ve experienced suffering.

There’s nothing like a cruel dose of reality to drive all the fanciful rainbows and unicorns out of your head. Experience teaches us truth. Without truth, we’re just all permissiveness and victimhood.

But experience also gives us empathy. Because we’ve actually been through the hard situation, we now have compassion for others in that same situation. Without love, we’re legalistic.

Neither permissiveness nor legalism are the gospel. God brings us through suffering to work these things out of us, and replace it with maturity. Maturity is not a spiritual gift. It is earned through suffering.

Without maturity, spiritual giftings are actually dangerous. A lot of damage has been done in the church by immature people with tremendous giftings.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Maturity is marked by the fruit of the Spirit, not the gifts of the Spirit. The fruit of the spirit are attitudes, not behaviors. Look at that list again. Those are all internal character qualities. Yes, they produce outward behaviors. You can fake the outward behaviors, for a while. But if you don’t have an inner attitude of patience, for example, you’re not going to be able to fake patient behavior for long.

Here are two things we can do to find meaning in our life’s pain.

1) Get healing

Your pain needs healing. God doesn’t want to remove the memory of the pain. Healing doesn’t change history; God doesn’t give us holy amnesia. But God wants to heal the memory of the pain, and its effects in our lives.

God wants to give you beauty for ashes. I encourage you to pursue healing for the pain you’ve been carrying. Here are some resources for you. If they are not local to you, they can probably recommend something that is, or at least point you in the right direction.

Elijah House (inner healing)

Dominion Virginia Counseling counseling and inner healing)

The Church Unchained: LukeNine1&2 Ministries (deliverance)

Rachel’s Vineyard (post-abortion healing)

Grief to Grace (sexual abuse)

Restoration 1:99 (sex trafficking, sexual abuse & other trauma)

2) God, who do you want to be for me in this?

Everything we need in this life is found in the person of Jesus, in the character of God. So in every trouble and pain in your life, God wants to reveal something about himself. He wants you to experience some attribute of his character, maybe something you know about him intellectually but have never experienced at a heart-level.

“The only struggle we have is against the goodness of God.” – Graham Cooke (my paraphrase)

Graham Cooke says, as believers, we can’t actually be challenged by the enemy. As if! Graham says we can only be challenged by the goodness of God. In this horrible situation in my life, is God still good? Is he still faithful to me, even in this? Is he still strong for me, even in this? What attribute of God’s character is he revealing to you in the middle of your dark night of the soul?

I’ve asked that question over and over, with many tears, in the blackness of the night, in the heat of the battle, in the middle of all the pain. Because even the darkness is not dark to God (Psalm 139:12).

Your Turn

What has the pain in your life taught you? Share your story in the comments; it will help others. What are you going through now? Tell us in the comments; there’s a community here to support you. Or shoot us an email if it’s too personal. We’d love to pray and stand with you. And please share this post if it would bless others.

Can You Afford Success?

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We all want to be successful. Nothing wrong with that. Nobody wants adversity. We all pray for blessing. But sometimes God answers “yes” by blessing us with adversity. He loves us too much to give us the success we crave the way we crave it.

Look at Asa, King of Judah, in 2 Chronicles 14-16. (At the time, Israel was split into two kingdoms, north and south. The northern kingdom had the name Israel, while the southern kingdom was called Judah with Jerusalem as its capital city.)

“Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God.” (14:2) He removed the foreign altars, smashed the sacred stones, cut down the Asherah poles—all objects of pagan idol worship. He was so zealous for the Lord he even deposed his own grandmother from her royal position as Queen Mother because she made an Asherah pole. Asa repaired the temple of the Lord and had the people rededicate themselves.

When the Cushites attacked with a vast army, Asa cried out to the Lord and won a great and improbable victory. He trusted God in his youth and experienced God’s deliverance first-hand.

But later in life, Asa faced the same situation. King Baasha of Israel and King Ben-Hadad of Aram attacked Judah. Two armies against one—Judah was in trouble. Rather than crying out to Lord like he did before and trusting God, Asa paid-off Ben-Hadad to break his treaty with Israel, with gold from the Lord’s temple. Baasha withdrew and Asa thought he was out of the woods.

But a prophet came to Asa and told him of his mistake. The Lord was planning to give Aram’s army into Asa’s hands. The impossible circumstance Asa faced was actually God’s plan to take down the wicked King of Aram, Ben-Hadad. But Asa short-circuited God’s plan by paying-off Ben-Hadad, with gold from the Lord’s temple no less! Doh!

Ok, we all screw up. So did Asa repent like King David when God exposed his mistake? Nope. Instead, Asa threw the prophet in prison and began to brutally oppress his own people (16:10).

The Lord tried again to woo Asa’s heart. God gave Asa a severe disease in his feet. But 16:12 says, “… even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from physicians.” Asa’s success gave him another option.

King Asa was an amazingly faithful and good king, who experienced God’s miraculous deliverance first-hand, and then abandoned God in his later years. What happened?!?

I think Asa’s success was his downfall. Relax, I’m not saying success is bad. We should seek to successfully pursue the call of God on our lives, that thing that makes our heart leap. I write about that a lot on this blog. Success comes from the Lord, and so it’s a good thing. God only gives good gifts.

It wasn’t the success, in and of itself, that was the problem. It was what came with it. Success brings a choice we didn’t have before.

In his youth, the impending doom facing King Asa was well beyond his ability and resources to conquer. He had no choice but to cry out to the Lord. If God didn’t come through, Judah was toast. Seriously. The nation would’ve been wiped off the map.

But when King Asa was older, richer, more successful and established, he had a choice he didn’t have before.

“Money won’t make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” — Zig Ziglar

It’s easy to trust the Lord when there’s no other choice. But what if we have another choice? What if our own strength might actually work? Will we still trust God when we don’t have to?

When I was in college as a math major at UCLA, I was taking some pretty challenging courses. I cancelled my social life, studied really hard, and got “A”s in pretty much everything. I would go through these cycles of feeling really good about myself. Too good, as if I’d done it all myself. I honestly remember thinking more than once, “I’m doing really well, aren’t I?”

Invariably, I’d bomb the next test. As I’d be doing the post-mortem analysis trying to figure out what went wrong, the Holy Spirit would be right there with his gentle whisper, “You thought you were doing this all by yourself.” No condemnation in his voice, just the simple truth.

“Oh, right,” I’d remember. “Success comes from God.” I’d repent and approach the next test differently—with an attitude of humility. I’d still study just as hard, but I’d go into it asking God for help instead of trusting in my own efforts. And I’d get my “A” back. Every. Time.

I remember thinking during those college days, “God, how long can you afford to let me be successful before I get cocky? Do I need constant trials and obstacles in my life to keep me dependent on you?”

God doesn’t bring misfortune to punish us per se. It’s not because he’s mad or mean. It’s to show us our own heart, to give us a choice to respond properly, so he can bless us more.

There are two situations where God brings adversity:

1) When we’ve done wrong. Often, it’s the logical consequences of our own actions—he just pulls back his hand of protection and lets us have our way. But the adversity is to turn us back to him when we may not even have realized we turned away.

I never “turned away” from God in college. I still worshipped him, prayed, went to church, tithed, and did all the things you’re supposed to. But when my heart got proud, he wouldn’t have it. Thank God.

2) When we’ve done right. See the whole book of Job. He’s giving us an opportunity to choose him when we have the resources not to. It thrills his heart when we don’t have to choose him but do, and he blesses us more out of that place. A right response to adversity we didn’t bring on ourselves shows us trustworthy for more.

It’s a strange cycle. We trust the Lord, which brings success. That success brings resources so we no longer have to trust the Lord. God uses this to show us our own heart.

So as you succeed, remember these three things:

1) Remain teachable.

2) Remain grateful.

3) Remain humble.

May my success never rise to the point where I forget my Lover-King Jesus. May yours never either. May we be ever faithful to him through all adversity, and even through all success.

Please share if this would please others, and tell us your story in the comments. We’d love to hear from you.

How to Say “Yes” to God’s Promises when Life’s Pain Says “No”

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Has the pain, abuse, and unfairness of your life erased God’s promises to you? You believed, but where are they? Instead of your Promised Land, all you see for miles around is desert. This post is for you. Caleb, through no fault of his own, finds himself in exactly the same situation. Check this out.

The Israelites had been miraculously delivered from Egypt. They’d seen God’s wonders and his glory over and over again in the desert. They tasted the sweetness of his faithfulness, and also the sting of his discipline at their rebellion (more than once).

But now, all that is just about to pay off. They’re at the borders of the Promised Land and just about to enter their inheritance. And that’s when it gets insane. All chaos breaks loose. The insanity in your life means God wants to break in and do something.

First, there’s internal attack. Miriam and Aaron, Moses’ co-leaders, more than that, his siblings, his own family, start bad-mouthing him (Numbers 12). It’s the struggle of religion vs God’s heart, the very same struggle that nailed Jesus to the cross. Miriam and Aaron don’t think Moses is following the rules properly. Actually he is, but not according to their understanding. In fact, their case against Moses is really thinly veiled jealously. The Lord has none of it and comes to Moses’ defense. God settles it quickly by turning Miriam leprous for a week.

Do you struggle with internal chaos, internal condemnation no matter what you do? God is on the verge of breakthrough in your life.

Then there’s external attack. Moses sends twelve spies to explore the Promised Land (Numbers 13). They all come back with the same report. The land is awesome, it’s flowing with milk and honey just like the Lord said. They bring back some of the fruit, huge grapes and other goodies. Oh, and by the way, the land’s filled with giants who are much stronger than we are. We looked like grasshoppers to them. The external obstacles are insurmountable.

Although they all agree on the state of the land, it’s inhabitants, and what they found, the twelve spies have two opposing recommended courses of action. Ten of the spies are terrified and say there’s no way we can do this. We’ll get slaughtered.

But the other two, Joshua and Caleb, are all for taking the land. They have a promise from God that he’ll be with them and they can do it. So I imagine it goes down something like this:

Ten Spies: “The people in the land are huge giants, infinitely bigger and stronger and more powerful than us!”

Joshua and Caleb: “I know, right! It’s going to be exhilarating beating those guys! I can’t wait, let’s go! This is going to be so epic! They’ll sing songs about us for centuries! We have a promise from God, we can’t lose! Stinks to be them. Let’s go do this!”

But the other ten convince the people not to trust God and rebel. They talk about stoning Moses, Joshua, and Caleb, heading back to Egypt, and just forgetting the whole thing. Quitting. This is not what we thought it would be. It’s just too hard. Time to cut and run.

Are you going to quit on the promise of God in your life? When life gets impossible, God’s promise is on the verge of fulfillment. Just like with the Israelites, the hardest struggles, both internally and externally, are on the borders of our Promised Land.

And you know the scariest part about this? God honors your choice. The people rejected God’s promise and chose to believe in their fear instead. And you could say they benefitted from it. They lived out their lives in safety, not having to take the risks that God’s promises required. But it was a hard, meaningless, bland life in the desert, on the border of God’s rejected promises. Nothing horrifically bad happened. But nothing amazingly good happened either. Like a ship chained to the dock, or a Lamborghini that never sees the light of day outside the garage, they all died in the desert of complacency. How sad. Don’t let this be your tragedy.

I think the saddest part is, Joshua and Caleb also waited 40 years. That’s the part that seems really unfair to me. Even though they had nothing to do with it, they were caught in the consequences of their unbelieving community. They were ready to grab God’s promises with both hands, but they had to wait 40 years too.

But it was worth it! They did eventually see the fulfillment of God’s promises in their lives. And this is the most amazing part of the story—how Caleb finally entered the Promised Land. Think about this.

It would have been easy for his passion to grow cold through the pain of life. He could’ve turned bitter over the unfairness of it all. 40 years in the desert? Are you kidding me?!? Many of us turn bitter in the desert. Do you know someone who has? Have you?

But Caleb didn’t. He just became more and more determined to seize God’s promises when he finally got the chance. Listen to him talk to Joshua, who had seceded Moses as leader, when the people are finally ready, 40 years later, to enter the Promised Land, really this time.

Keep in mind reading this that in war, you want the high ground. So the “hill country” Caleb’s talking about here is where the enemies have the high ground. It’s the hardest land to take by far. There are only two types of people who would even attempt it. Soon to be dead fools who don’t have a lick of common sense, or soon to be victorious recipients of a promise from God.

Caleb to Joshua: “You know what the Lord said to Moses the man of God at Kadesh Barnea about you and me. I was 40 years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, but my fellow Israelites who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt in fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly. So on that day Moses swore to me, ‘The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.’

“Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for 45 years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, 85 years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites [the giants] were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” (Joshua 14:6b-12)

The guy was 85 and wanting to go take the hardest part of the land! And this time, he would not be put off. He had yet another promise from God he was believing. I could see people saying, “But dude, you’re 85! How about you plan the battle, but we’ll go do the heavy lifting on this one.”

Caleb: “Don’t you ‘but dude’ me! I’ve waiting 45 years for this, and I’m going giant-whomping!”

And you know what? The “unfair” delay really wasn’t. It made Caleb’s character shine all the more brightly and made his victory all the more spectacular. The promises of God triumph over the pain and unfairness of life.

God didn’t forget about Caleb. And he hasn’t forgotten you. What promises have you seen fulfilled in your life that you thought were gone? What promises are you still waiting for? Tell us in the comments, and please share if this post would bless and encourage someone else.

Why New Year Is in the Dead of Winter

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It’s fascinating to me that our New Year here in the West occurs in the dead of Winter. I know other cultures’ New Year occurs at different times of the year, and that’s great. I’m sure God is speaking to all cultures with the timing of their New Year celebration, but I’m only qualified to write about my own culture. What is God saying to us in the West?

Wouldn’t it make more sense for the New Year to be at the start of Spring, when everything’s budding and coming back to life? Maybe in some cultures it is; what an awesome time that must be. But God worked through our history to make our New Year when all the leaves are off the trees and everything’s dead. Why do you suppose that is?

I’ve heard a pastor say that leaves don’t actually change color in Fall. They reveal the true color they actually are when not getting overridden by all that green chlorophyll. The point he was making is, in the Autumn of your life, your true colors will show.

What are your hidden colors? Do they reflect the grace and healing of God’s empowerment in your life, or do they still reflect your wounding?

There’s nothing wrong, by the way, with being in a place of wounding. Acknowledging where you’re at is the first step to get healing. Run to God in those times, not away from him. The problem comes when we run away from God and to our chlorophyll of choice to hide our wounded colors, in our own strength.

What is your chlorophyll of choice? Control? Addiction? Entitlement? Performance? (Personally, I’m really good at performance, more about that later.)

Have you ever wondered why we don’t go straight from Fall to Spring? After all, why can’t the new leaves just push out the old? Why do we have to go through a cold, bare-root season first? Why do we have to get stripped down to nothing? Maybe there’s something necessary going on inside the trunk of the tree that’s getting ready for Spring. Maybe Spring couldn’t come without this time of preparation.

What happens when circumstances and struggles reveal our wounding and our chlorophyll of choice stops working? What happens when all the leaves are off the trees of our lives? Maybe when we’re stripped down to the bare trunk, maybe that’s when we hear God best. Maybe because then we have to and we don’t have any other choice. Maybe out of his great love and mercy for us, he’s stripped away everything that distracted us from his voice.

I think God considers that place the beginning. That’s where his New Year starts. Because when all the outside is stripped away, there’s nothing left but to work on the heart. And that’s what he’s always wanted, to heal our wounding and give us a new heart.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

I’m up for that. My hidden colors were worthlessness and rejection. The lie I believed was, “I am unlovable.” My chlorophyll of choice was being nice, being a servant to all. Dying to myself, literally, to a fault. My bitter root expectation was, “You’re going to reject me. So I’m not going to give you a reason. I’m going to be as lovable as possible, so that when (not if) you reject me, it’s on you.” We call this performance orientation, and I got really good at it, unfortunately.

God had to take me through a bare-root, cold Winter season. He had to strip away all the false leaves and false colors I used to protect my heart, in order to take that structure of lies and inner vows and bitter root expectations down.

Ironically, it’s when I started coming out of those lies that all disaster broke loose. My family fell apart and disintegrated. It hurt. But it was a season. It was only a season (a long season, several years), and I’m coming through it now. Sometimes the enemy’s greatest deception is to trick us into believing the painful season we’re in is forever, which brings desperation and despair. It’s not forever. It’s only a season. Trusting God brings hope through the pain.

He’s still working on me, but I’ve come a long way. He’s brought me into a fresh, bright Spring the last few years. He’s restored relationships I thought would never be restored, while others I still wait for. And he’s using his chlorophyll to work his colors into me.

How about you? What season are you in, here at the turn of the New Year? Tell us in the comments. If you’re in a cold, Winter, bare-root season, we’d love to pray with you. If you’ve come through such a season, please share your story; it will encourage others. And please share on social media if you think this post would bless others.

The Kingdom of God Is Not a Buffet

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Ever order a medium rare filet mignon, and it comes out warm-red-center perfect, but with mushrooms on it? What made them think putting fungus on my perfect steak was a good idea?!? At least I can scrape off the mushrooms—Janet will eat them. But when I order Jesus’ resurrection power off the menu of my life, I can’t scrape off the suffering God uses to bring me that power.

The Kingdom of God is not a buffet. We can’t take an extra scoop of God’s power in our lives and just pass on the suffering. The power and the glory come through the suffering. If you’re like me, you’re going, “Really, God? What’s up with that?” But Paul said it best:

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:10-11)

Do you see the mystery in these verses? In scripture “know” means “experience”. So experiencing the power of Jesus’ resurrection in our lives is tied to sharing in his suffering. Hmmm. Not my idea of a good time. The suffering part, that is.

But I want Jesus’ resurrection power in my life. In my family. Don’t you? I want to see miracles in my life. I want to see my family members healed when they’re sick. I want to just speak and have the natural world obey me. I want to have an impact on this world. A Kingdom impact. I want to live who he created me to be.

There’s just one catch. Experiencing Jesus’ resurrection power is tied to sharing in his suffering. And Paul uses a very interesting word to describe that sharing. Fellowship. It’s in the suffering, not in the miracles, where we experience fellowship with Jesus. That seems really counter-intuitive to me, but thank God—that’s where we need him the most.

Actually, we could pass on the suffering, or try to. And we will live very mediocre, powerless, “safe” lives, and a lot of people do. Or. Or. Or. We could, just maybe, dare to trust God. Chin up, bear up well under whatever suffering and pain he brings us through, and come out the other side living a wild, Kingdom-of-God adventure like we never even dreamed possible.

What do you think? I’ll take the wild ride. Will you? Does this resonate? Tell us your story in the comments or shoot us an email. We want to hear from you. And please share on social media if this blessed you or made you think. (Click the share buttons below.)

Suffering Is A Blessing

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What?!? Dave, have you completely lost your mind? I know that’s what most of us (including me) think when reading that title. But it really is true. The suffering we pass through really is a blessing.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

I don’t know about you, but my first reaction to suffering is to certainly consider it something – but not pure joy. What was James smoking? I want some.

We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us. (Romans 5:3b-5a)

I think Laura Story has it right in her song Raindrops – suffering really is God’s blessing in disguise.

There are two reasons we suffer. One we bring on ourselves, and the other God brings on us. Either way, it’s a blessing.

The suffering we bring on ourselves is the logical consequences of our unrighteous actions. I’ve heard it said that God doesn’t punish sin as much as he allows it to punish itself. He removes his hand of protection and lets us taste just a bit of the stew we’ve cooked. Just enough to bring us to repentance. This is a blessing – God doesn’t leave us in our sin, but he uses its logical consequences to free us from it. He brings us to confession and repentance, getting our attention through suffering the logical consequences.

If we keep a short tab with God and repent quickly when he allows stuff to catch up with us, we avoid longer-term consequences. The suffering is a blessing – it keeps us from something worse.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. (Hebrews 12:7a)

The second type of suffering is the type God brings on us for his glory and our benefit. Remember the debate God and Satan had over Job? Who brought Job into that conversation? God did! Twice! (See Job 1:8 and Job 2:3.) “Have you considered my servant Job?”

Often, God brings difficult things, suffering, into our lives to give us something we can endure. Not only to build character into our lives, to make us more like him, but also so he has something he can reward us for. That’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you’ve suddenly lost a loved one or you’re going through some other tragedy in your life. I don’t want to make light of that or be flip about it. It’s not easy. It hurts. It hurts bad.

But God is in there. I went through a tragedy in my life and was on my face for a year-and-a-half crying out the Lord. He met me in that place, and in the very difficult years that followed. My story is a testimony to his faithfulness and presence through great pain.

A lot of times the suffering doesn’t seem fair. And it’s not. The suffering is only for a season, but the rewards of bearing up under it well and with faith are forever. Totally not fair, but not fair in our favor.

Worship (corporate and private) is the greatest comfort to me in my times of suffering.  How about you? Has the Lord been faithful? Can we stand with you in something while you’re waiting? Tell us in the comments.