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How to Disarm Offense

America is in the middle of a cold civil war. It’s not a hot civil war like the 1860s, where we were physically shooting at each other, thank God. But just like the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union, it’s equally real. And this cold civil war is fueled, on both sides, by this one thing. Offense.

The spirit of offense is ravaging America right now. It’s deeply infected both political parties and it’s playing us for fools against each other. It’s a demonic strategy. And it’s totally eating our lunch.

Offense is the opposite of love on so many levels. Let’s compare and contrast love and offense, using the definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love… Offense…
… is patient. … shoots first and asks questions later.
… is kind. … posts dishonoring memes on FaceBook.
… does not envy. … is never satisfied.
… does not boast. … is self-righteous. Especially if it’s actually right.
… is not proud. … justifies itself. Offense is its own justification.
… does not dishonor others. … dehumanizes others.
… is not self-seeking. … is blinded to the very existence of others, since it doesn’t see them as human anymore.
… keeps no record of wrongs. … keeps a list like Santa Claus, checking it twice, categorizing people into naughty or nice.
… does not delight in evil. … laughs at & “likes” dishonoring memes on FaceBook.
… rejoices with the truth. … looks for the catch. Always suspicious, offense would be rather be cynical than naïve.
… always protects. … always attacks.
… always trusts. … always controls.
… always hopes. … has turned cynicism into an art form.
… always perseveres. … wants its pound of flesh yesterday.

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 1:8). Offense justifies a multitude of sins. Offense justifies all our bad behavior. Just look on FaceBook. I can post a nasty meme about someone I don’t even know if I don’t like their politics. All my friends will think it’s funny. Anyone who’s politics I find offensive must be a bad person. Really?

We need to respect other peoples’ dignity, even if we disagree with their politics, and even if they don’t respect our dignity. Especially when they don’t respect our dignity. They know, deep inside, their behavior is wicked. But it’s justified in their heart, because they know we’ll be wicked right back at them. And unfortunately, many Christians are. But when we don’t return wickedness for wickedness, mocking for mocking, or offense for offense, it gives their heart pause. And that is what lifts up the name of Jesus, not being right or winning the argument.

Respecting someone doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. The media and the culture have normalized a lot of wickedness we should not practice or condone. Sex outside of marriage. Abortion. Same-sex marriage. Transgenderism. As Christians, we have a responsibility to lovingly speak out against these anti-Biblical and self-destructive practices. But because we have the Holy Spirit, we can respectfully disagree without getting ugly about it. We can love those we disagree with. The world can’t.

Honestly, seeing non-Christians being disrespectful, while it’s reaching shocking new lows, doesn’t really bother me. We shouldn’t be surprised when pagans act like pagans. But seeing Christians, however, being disrespectful is what bothers me. The other side’s sin against us does not justify our sinful response.

So what can we do? Whatever your political persuasion, we, the people of God, can all do these 3 simple things.

1) Stop posting (and sharing and “liking”) disrespectful memes. Whether it’s President Obama, President Trump, Speaker Pelosi, or former Secretary of State Clinton, we have a Biblical mandate to respect the government officials that God put in place. (Romans 13:1-7, 1 Timothy 2:1-2.) However funny they are, and I admit I find some hilarious, disrespectful memes are slander. We need to stop. (Titus 3:1-2.)

2) Remember who the real enemy is. It’s not the other political party. No human being is the devil incarnate. Satan and his demonic forces are our enemy, not our fellow humans, even if they are deceived and ugly toward us.

3) Love the people on the other side. Disagree, yes. For God’s sake, disagree. The church has been bullied into complicit silence for far too long. But disagree lovingly. Don’t attack the other person, but speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Have a conversation, not a food fight. They have a right to disagree with you and still be treated civilly, just like you do. Don’t respond with ugliness for ugliness, disrespect for disrespect, evil for evil, but instead let us repay evil with good (Romans 12:17-21).

No one ever argued anyone into the Kingdom. But people get loved into the Kingdom all the time. We can do this.

What about you? Has there been a time when returning good for evil has won you a friend? A time when responding in love won you more than winning the argument? Tell us your story in the comments. And please share this post if it would bless others.