How to Walk a Hard Road with 4 Mindsets

Too often, “how to walk a hard road” isn’t something we talk about enough in Western Christianity. Our life is so comfortable, on the outside at least, that too often we neglect talking about walking hard roads. And yet, although we have freedoms and conveniences, our lives can be just as painful and torn as those suffering in third world countries.

Our favorite TV series, The Chosen, has a scene in Season 1, Episode 8, about 16 minutes into the episode, where Nicodemus and his wife Zohara talk about walking hard roads. They are talking about Hagar, who bore Abraham’s son Ishmael. (You can read the story of Hagar, and how God met with her twice, in Genesis 16:1-16, 17:24-26, and 21:9-21.)

Nicodemus: “Hagar was caught up in something complicated and fraught, but not of her choice. And yet, God saw her, and he knew the path she was forced to take would not be an easy one.”

Zohara: “When we stumble onto hard roads, he finds us and comforts us.”

Nicodemus: “Or does he call us to them?”

Too often in Western Christianity, we approach life with Zohara’s response: It’s God’s job to comfort us in our pain. There is an element of truth to that. God does find us and comfort us. After all, Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the Comforter (John 14:26).

But I think Nicodemus was on to something here. While, yes, God comforts us when we find ourselves on hard roads, often he’s the one calling us to walk the hard road.

But we have a choice. The world gives us a plethora of other alternatives. Plenty of ways to medicate the pain. Plenty of distractions to otherwise occupy our time. Anything to keep us off that hard road God is calling us to and the impact it will have. Because walking our hard road will encourage other to walk theirs.

“A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.” – Psalm 91:7

One person choosing to walk one hard road shatters ten thousand demonic strongholds for others. While we won’t know the full impact until we see Jesus, our walking our hard road terrifies the Kingdom of Darkness, which does see the effects. They see strongholds they’ve invested generations building up come crashing down in a day, all because one follower of Jesus chose to walk a hard road. That could be you. If you choose to walk your hard road, demons will need therapy. It sucks to be them.

So you matter. Walking the hard road Jesus is calling you to matters. So how do you do it? Here are 4 mindsets to choose while walking a hard road.

1) The “Uncompromising Decision” Mindset

My dad always used to be first in line for birthday cake or whatever other sweets were offered around the office. Until he was diagnosed with diabetes. Then he dropped sweets cold-turkey. People would ask him how he did that so consistently, without cheating at all. He’d answer, “Simple. I can’t have them.”

“100% is easier than 98%” — Benjamin Hardy

Decide. The mindset of uncompromising decision is our primary defense against the world. My dad found that “I can’t have any sweets” was a much easier road to walk than “how many sweets can I have?”

2) The “On Your Face” Mindset

When you’re walking a hard road, I highly recommend lots and lots of facetime before God. No, I’m not talking about the Apple app. I’m talking about physically lying, face-down into the carpet, before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. This mindset is a posture of the heart (and often of the body) of humility before the Lord.

I was literally on my face before God, crying out for his intervention in my marriage and my family, for at least 18 months. I’d be on the floor in the corner of the room during worship time at church. I’d be on the floor of my office at home in the early morning hours when no one else was awake. I’d park in some distant spot in a remote parking lot during the day, because home wasn’t safe, and pour out my heart to God.

And I eventually saw God move, although not the way I wanted. Everyone has a choice. My wife left. The divorce devastated my children and continues to. It was the worst time in my life. But God was faithful and brought Janet. God has restored my calling, brought tremendous healing, and Janet and I walk out our callings that dove-tail so beautifully together.

3) The “Manage Your Influences” Mindset

After being diagnosed with diabetes, my dad didn’t frequent bakeries. While he could say “no” to sweets offered to him by others, he didn’t put himself in situations where it would be any harder than it had to be.

If you’re struggling with pornography, don’t watch movies with nudity or that glorify sex outside of marriage. Don’t listen to music that glorifies sex outside of marriage or objectifies women.

“The eyes are the window to your soul.” – William Shakespeare

Your senses are the toll booths guarding your heart. Guard your eye gates and ear gates.

If you’re trying to stop smoking, don’t go to the vape shop or hang with friends who smoke. If you’re struggling with alcoholism, don’t go to a bar or hang with friends who drink.

This mindset removes negative influences from your life. This means you might have to let go of certain friends. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring you godly friends who support the hard road you’re walking, instead of trying to pull you off it.

But I’m trying to reach them for Jesus! That’s good, that’s noble. But if they are pulling you back into a sinful lifestyle, you’re not reaching them for Jesus. They are reaching you for Satan, and you need to let them go. Put them in God’s hands, and trust that he will reach out to them through someone else who will not be compromised by them.

There is one relationship you can’t walk away from, and that’s with your spouse. If your spouse is a wet-blanket on your calling, I’ve put together a one-page resource just for you. You can download it here. Let me know if it’s helpful and how we can pray and support you.

4) The “Focus on Eternity” Mindset

This mindset focuses on eternity, knowing that our hard road in this life is only a vapor compared to our eternity with Jesus (James 4:14).

Francis Chan says it much better than I can. Please watch this 4-minute video of The Rope.

So How About It?

What hard road are you walking? How can we support you on it? You’re not the only one, and your story will help others. So please leave a comment, and share this post to bless others.