How to Not Deconstruct Your Christianity

Over the last several years, there’s been a rash of high-profile people leaving Christianity. Worship leaders. Pastors. Famous Christian authors. Christian influencers, bloggers, leaving the faith to embrace the deceptions of this world. And a whole bunch of us “regular” people. “Deconstructing your Christianity” is now a thing.

So what’s going on? This is nothing new.

This Has Happened Before

Israel had a special relationship with God. They didn’t have monarchies like the countries around them; they had a theocracy, a government led by God through his priests.

There were issues. The sons of Samuel were corrupt and took bribes (1 Samuel 8:3). But rather than going to the Lord for how to fix this problem, the people had a better idea. They deconstructed their unique governmental relationship with God and asked for a king.

They Wanted a King, Not a Relationship

They wanted to live like the world around them. They had the trappings of relationship with God (the government), but didn’t have actual intimacy with God. So when there were problems, they threw out the whole thing.

They asked for a king, rejecting God to be like the world around them.

You can keep a king happy by just checking the boxes. Build the palace. Pay your taxes. Get the vaccine. Sounds great on paper, but in reality, there’s always one more box to check.

So How’d That Work Out?

There’s a great table of all the kings of Israel and Judah here. There were 42 kings total (counting both Israel and Judah), from Saul to Zedekiah (king at the Babylonian exile). Exactly 21 kings, 50%, died of natural causes. Of the remaining 21 kings with unnatural deaths, 13 were assassinated by their own people. In total, that’s 13 out of 42 kings assassinated by the Hebrews themselves, or 31%.

So how’d that whole “king thing” work out if the people themselves killed 1 out of 3 of their own kings? Not so good. Didn’t really solve the original problem of corruption, did it?

History Is Repeating Itself

People are doing the same thing today, rejecting God to be like the world around them. Only it won’t solve the problem.

Christianity, or at least it’s corporate manifestation on Earth, the Church, has issues. So unhappy, burned out Christians look at the world and want that. Deconstructing their Christianity, they abandon the faith they once served.

And that’s the problem. They served the faith, the Church, or whatever they thought Christianity was. Not Jesus.

I know that’s harsh, but it’s Biblical. John agrees with me. Talking about those who have left the faith, John says:

“They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” (1 John 2:19)

They had the trappings of Christianity, but they never had Jesus.

How could anyone, who knows the Jesus I know, ever leave him? But then again, Satan did. It boggles my mind.

Maybe, in a not-so-obvious way, it’s actually the Holy Spirit moving in their lives. Maybe all the false performance and pride and empires and doing-all-the-things-all-the-time has to be torn down before God can show them what real Christianity is. Maybe the false foundation needs to be removed before the real foundation, relationship with Jesus, can be established.

Jesus Didn’t Come to Re-Establish God as King

That’s never been in question. Why would he waste time establishing something that already is? God the creator, the Hebrew God Almighty, the Lord Jehovah – that God – his kingship is already in place. Always has been, always will be. Any being with any spiritual insight, discernment, or visibility into the spiritual realm knows this. It’s only deceived humans who don’t.

Jesus came to re-establish something that was broken – relationship with us.

But do we want it? Or, like the Israelites, when Christianity has issues, because it’s filled with people like you and me, do we decide it’s better to live like the world?

Many have made that choice and turned from their faith. Here’s how not to.

How to Not Deconstruct Your Christianity

Jesus first. Jesus last. It’s all about Jesus. More specifically, it’s all about relationship with Jesus. Personally, actually knowing him. Spending time alone with him. Intimate time with Jesus.

Yes, if we know Jesus, we won’t live for ourselves. We’ll feed the hungry. Help the poor. Share our blessings. Speak truth in love. Stand up for righteousness. We’ll love his people and fellowship with them at church. But if we do those good things without knowing Jesus, eventually we burn out.

Relationship Is Fragile

Relationships require maintenance and a constant infusion of energy by us. Our relationship with God is no exception.

When a relationship is taken for granted, the two people drift apart because neither is exerting energy into the relationship. How many times have you heard divorced people say, “Nothing bad happened; we just drifted apart.” I’ve heard that lots.

Don’t let that happen to your relationship with Jesus. Exert energy into it. Not out of performance, or to manipulate a good life out of God. But because you actually like hanging out with the guy. No agenda – you just truly enjoy his presence. He enjoys yours.

If this feels weird – talking all familiar-like about God, like he’s a relatable person – then God is calling you into a deeper level of intimacy with him than you’ve known before. Ask God to show you that deeper level of intimacy with him. Keep asking until he does.

This post is not a commercial, but I would be remiss if I didn’t let you know we do teach this – hearing God, for real, in your life. You can learn more about our class on this subject here.

Your Turn

Does this resonate? Do you know someone who “deconstructed” their Christianity? What energy do you put into your relationship with Jesus? What energy does he? Or does he seem distant, and you don’t think a real intimate relationship with him is even possible? Tell us your thoughts in the comments. And please share this post if it would bless others.