Honoring Parents

One of the basic principles God has woven into the fabric of the universe involves the very first relationship we ever had – the one with our parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16) This one is so important it made the Ten Commandments. And it’s the first commandment with an explicit blessing (Ephesians 6:2).

Honor is the currency of the Kingdom of God. In whatever area we honor our parents in, we’ll be blessed – it will go well with us. That’s a promise from God. But the reverse is also true – in whatever area we do not honor our parents in, it will not go well with us.

There’s no age limit given in the commandment. Even as an adult living on our own, there’s still a blessing for honoring our parents. We can still make our own decisions. But we should listen to them, and prayerfully consider what they say, even if we think they don’t know what they’re talking about. Just because they’re not experts, or even knowledgeable, about the domain they’re giving us advice about, doesn’t mean it’s not from God. God often speaks through parents, especially godly ones, even in stuff they know nothing about. The Holy Spirit is giving us wisdom through them – it will go well with us if we listen, and it will not go well with us if we don’t. Ask God how to apply what they’ve said.

What if they’re abusive? We don’t have to submit ourselves to unsafe situations. We can set healthy boundaries, and they don’t have to like them. Just because they accuse us of being dishonoring doesn’t mean we are. But there are healthy boundaries within which we can honor our parents, whether they deserve that honor or not. In an abusive situation, please ask a Christian counselor and your Pastor to help you set healthy boundaries.

A very common form of dishonoring our parents is holding judgements against them in our hearts. We need to release ourselves from that judgement by forgiving our parents – accepting that they are not the evil they did to us. We can acknowledge that they did evil to us, whether they admit it or not. But we release them from owing us anything – we claim Jesus’ sufferings as payment in full for the wrong they did against us.

If this is helpful, please share it with the social media buttons below so someone else can be blessed. And share your story with us, either in the comments below or a private message (click the “Contact Us” link in the menu bar). We’d love to hear from you and pray with you.