Suffering Is A Blessing

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What?!? Dave, have you completely lost your mind? I know that’s what most of us (including me) think when reading that title. But it really is true. The suffering we pass through really is a blessing.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

I don’t know about you, but my first reaction to suffering is to certainly consider it something – but not pure joy. What was James smoking? I want some.

We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us. (Romans 5:3b-5a)

I think Laura Story has it right in her song Raindrops – suffering really is God’s blessing in disguise.

There are two reasons we suffer. One we bring on ourselves, and the other God brings on us. Either way, it’s a blessing.

The suffering we bring on ourselves is the logical consequences of our unrighteous actions. I’ve heard it said that God doesn’t punish sin as much as he allows it to punish itself. He removes his hand of protection and lets us taste just a bit of the stew we’ve cooked. Just enough to bring us to repentance. This is a blessing – God doesn’t leave us in our sin, but he uses its logical consequences to free us from it. He brings us to confession and repentance, getting our attention through suffering the logical consequences.

If we keep a short tab with God and repent quickly when he allows stuff to catch up with us, we avoid longer-term consequences. The suffering is a blessing – it keeps us from something worse.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. (Hebrews 12:7a)

The second type of suffering is the type God brings on us for his glory and our benefit. Remember the debate God and Satan had over Job? Who brought Job into that conversation? God did! Twice! (See Job 1:8 and Job 2:3.) “Have you considered my servant Job?”

Often, God brings difficult things, suffering, into our lives to give us something we can endure. Not only to build character into our lives, to make us more like him, but also so he has something he can reward us for. That’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you’ve suddenly lost a loved one or you’re going through some other tragedy in your life. I don’t want to make light of that or be flip about it. It’s not easy. It hurts. It hurts bad.

But God is in there. I went through a tragedy in my life and was on my face for a year-and-a-half crying out the Lord. He met me in that place, and in the very difficult years that followed. My story is a testimony to his faithfulness and presence through great pain.

A lot of times the suffering doesn’t seem fair. And it’s not. The suffering is only for a season, but the rewards of bearing up under it well and with faith are forever. Totally not fair, but not fair in our favor.

Worship (corporate and private) is the greatest comfort to me in my times of suffering.  How about you? Has the Lord been faithful? Can we stand with you in something while you’re waiting? Tell us in the comments.

You Are Not What You Do

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For so many of us our identity is in what we do or what we’ve done. Especially men – what’s the first question we ask each other when we meet another man? “What do you do?” There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s safe small talk. But that’s not who we are.

God loves us based on our position not our accomplishments – our position as His son or daughter. Nothing we ever accomplish (good or bad) can ever change that. Nothing we do can make Him love us more or less than He does in this moment. In every moment. He’s that consistent.

We all say we believe that, but many of us secretly don’t. I say “secretly” because often it’s secret even from ourselves. We can test ourselves to see if we inwardly believe we are what we do, though. When we get mad at someone for disagreeing with us, when we take someone’s disagreement with what we said or did as a personal affront, it’s often because we believe that we are what we do. “If you attack what I do or say, you’re attacking me!” Do you see it?

You are special to God because you are you. You are valuable because you bear the image of God (see Genesis 1:26-27) whether you realize it or not. The trick is to understand who you really are, the unique person He made you to be.

Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” So before you were even born, before you had done anything good or bad, you were God’s wonderful work. And nothing we do can ever undo His work.

So let’s stop trying to be what we do. Let’s discover and walk in who we really are. Ask Him to take you on a journey of discovery.

Have you started this journey? What are you discovering? Do you identify with this? Tell us your story in the comments. What do you think?

The Power of “What If…?”

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There’s one question feared by the enemy above all others. There’s one question that, if we dared to ask it and follow the answer, would disrupt the status quo more than anything else. “What if…?”

There’s something on our heart that God’s put there, but the distractions of life drown it out. The daily slog doesn’t leave us with any energy for our dreams. But what if we did follow that dream?

What if I wrote that book?

What if I reached out to that person?

What if I started my own business?

What if I dared to do what God’s put on my heart?

What if I took that risk that makes my heart sing?

What if I dared to believe who Jesus says I am?

What if I ……?

Fill in the blank for you. What is it in your heart that the daily slog is drowning out? What dreams make your heart leap? God put them there. Take the first step.

What if God’s calling you to that dream? If that were true and you were actually going to do it, what’s the first baby step you’d take in that direction? What if you took it? Take it.

We have to reach the point where we’re more afraid of not trying then we are of failing. – Jeff Goins

I reached that point and that’s why this blog exists and why I’ve written two print books (available here), and one free eBook (available here). I’m working on a couple more free eBooks that should come out by the end of the year. How about you? Have you taken the first baby step?

Does this resonate? What makes your heart sing? Are you pursuing it? Leave us a comment or shoot us an email. And please share (buttons below) if you think this would bless or inspire someone else.

Peace Making vs Peace Keeping

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The beatitudes in Matthew 5:3-12 are pretty self-explanatory, if very counter-intuitive. But there’s one in particular that’s often misunderstood. At least it was by me for a long time. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). But there’s a world of difference between peace making and peace keeping. I had them confused the majority of my life, and I’ve paid a high price for it.

When we mistakenly think Jesus said, “Blessed are the peace keepers…” we live by the ungodly principle of Peace At Any Price.

But wait a minute, I thought peace was a good thing! It is, that’s why peacemakers are blessed in the Kingdom and called sons of God. But Peace At Any Price is not a good thing at all. Peace At Any Price sacrifices the plan, wisdom, and calling of God to avoid conflict. It brings unity around a false peace. And false peace is not really peace at all – it’s oppression.

Peace making is bravely going into an interpersonal conflict and bringing the plan and the wisdom, not to mention the calling and the purpose, of God to it. If God’s wisdom is accepted, it brings true peace to the situation. However, if God’s wisdom is repeatedly rejected, then it’s time for godly conflict.

But peace keeping is quite different. Peace keeping is acquiescing to the situation. Peace keeping compromises (or outright silences) God’s plans and purposes. We trade God’s calling for peace in our interpersonal relationships. I confess I did this for a long time, and my family paid dearly for it.

By my observation, many husbands live by Peace At Any Price. It takes one to know one – I did for a long time. Too often we trade our vision for our family, and our place of leadership in our household, for peace in our home.

Now common sense here, that’s obviously not an excuse to lord it over your wife. And wives have a significant role and get valid downloads from God just like husbands do. But, c’mon guys, we need to be the spiritual leaders of our home, not our wives.

Peace At Any Price is institutionalized in the culture, even in the church, with regard to home and family. How many times have you heard people, even Christians, say one of these re-phrases of Peace At Any Price:

Happy wife, happy life. Translation: “Sell out your vision for your family in order to keep your wife happy.” Or you could say it this way: “Lack of conflict in your home is worth more than God’s calling on your family.” Sorry, but not true.

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! Translation: “If I don’t get my way, I’ll make my entire family miserable!” This is hardly the manifestation of the Fruit of the Spirit in a godly woman’s life. Anybody out there still think this isn’t demonic?

Now please don’t flip out on me. This doesn’t mean a husband should just impose his vision on his family. It’s just as demonic for a husband to expect his wife to roll-over and practice Peace At Any Price. None of us, husband or wife, parent or child, teacher or student, should compromise or abandon what they know is God’s wisdom, calling, plan, and/or purpose on their lives or in any situation.

It comes down to this. Peace at Any Price, a.k.a., peace keeping, is just getting bullied, pure and simple. If you are living Peace At Any Price, you have let your God-given identity get shut down by a bully. You need to repent and stand up to the bully.

In a marriage, when we come out of being bullied, we don’t impose our calling on the other person. We don’t want to become the bully. Instead, we invite: “This is where God is calling me to go. I’m going there, and I’m inviting you to come along.” And we walk toward God’s calling on our life with an open hand back to the other person. They may take it or not; that’s on them. But we are walking toward our calling, and that brings true peace, in our heart if not to the situation.

Blessed are the peacemakers (not the peace keepers), for they will be called sons of God.

Does this hit home to you? Tell us your story in the comments? Are you living Peace At Any Price? Did you used to? How did you come out of it? Tell us in the comments, your story will help others. And if you think this article would bless someone else, please share it with the buttons below.

The Good Guy and Bad Guy Chairs

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When someone has seriously wronged us, especially when they don’t acknowledge the wrong and their hurtful behavior still continues, it’s really easy to put them in the Bad Guy Chair. This automatically puts us in the Good Guy Chair. Which on the surface doesn’t seem so bad. After all, we’re the innocently wronged party here, right?

But there’s a catch. A subtle, tricky, deadly catch. Just like a hook is death to a fish, the God Guy Chair is one of Satan’s sneakiest and most deadly hooks to our spiritual growth and life in the Kingdom.

Because the Good Guy Chair has another name. A secret name. A hidden name. It’s real name. And you really don’t want to be in this chair:

The Victim Chair.

Nothing stunts our spiritual growth faster than a respite in the Victim Chair. Because holding the other person in the Bad Guy Chair sucks us into the Victim Chair with a force as deterministic as gravity. In fact, go ahead and call it Spiritual Gravity. Unforgiveness. And unforgiveness is the most effective spiritual growth killer in Satan’s arsenal.

Here’s the deception: We don’t think of ourselves as being unforgiving. We may have even overtly “forgiven” the other person. But secretly in our hearts, we haven’t. As long as we still consider them the Bad Guy, our unforgiveness holds them in the Bad Guy Chair, which holds us in the Victim Chair, which arrests our spiritual growth right there. It condemns us to a life of bitterness and victimization. Who wants that?

The trick is, the only way out of the Victim Chair is to release the other person from the Bad Guy Chair. But wait! You don’t know what they did to me! It was really, really bad!!! Yes, it was. Forgiveness doesn’t mean minimizing the evil they did to you or pretending like it never happened.

They did something horrible to you. Hold them accountable for it with whatever (godly) means are at your disposal. Press charges if it’s a criminal act. Confront them. Set boundaries so they can’t hurt you again. Holding them accountable gives them opportunity to come out of their deception that caused them to hurt you in the first place. It also protects futures victims from becoming victims.

But here’s the point: They themselves are not the evil thing they did to you. It came out of their own pain and their own deceptions that they are living under. Hurt people hurt people. That does not justify what they did, and they are accountable for it. But coming to the realization that they are not the evil thing they did to you is the essence of true forgiveness. We are not what we do.

Then you finish forgiveness by praying blessing over them. Real blessing, not through gritted teeth. When you can do that, without that heart-twinge because you’re forcing it, you know you’ve released them from the Bad Guy Chair and so you’re out of the Victim Chair. Hallelujah! Let’s hear it for freedom!

The stages of forgiveness parallel the stages of grief – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. So give yourself a break if you’re not ready to pray true blessing over them yet. Just keep moving in the right direction. Don’t short-change the process. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself grieve. Tell the Lord you want to want to and he’ll get you there.

Is this ringing a bell? Have you gone through this process of forgiveness? Is it something you’re working on? Tell us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you. Your story will help others. And please share on social media (click the appropriate share button below) if you think this would help someone else.

Restitution

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A young man went to a wise old guru with a problem, something he just didn’t understand. The young man asked the guru why he can’t take back hurtful words he’d said to someone. He’d apologized, but the relationship wasn’t the same. Why can’t he fix this?

The wise old guru took the young man on a treacherous climb up a tall mountain overlooking a deep gorge. It was very windy up way there. He had brought a feather pillow along with them. The guru took out his knife and slit open the pillow, waving it into the wind, scattering the feathers to the four winds.

Then he turned to the young man. As the guru handed him the now empty pillow fabric, he said, “Your task is to put all the feathers back in the pillow.”

“There’s no way!” exclaimed the young man. “That’s impossible! Once the feathers are out of the pillow, there’s no way to put them all back in again!”

The old guru nodded in agreement. “That’s why you can’t take back your hurtful words. It’s too late. They are already out,” he said. The young man finally got it.

I’m sure many of you have heard this story before. The moral is to be careful what we say. But there’s something else going on here. Turns out there actually is a way to put the feathers back in the pillow. It’s called restitution. It costs you a lot and it’s hard work, but it can be done.

Let me back up a minute. Say Person A wrongs Person B. We’re assuming it’s an accident, not a heinous crime or anything like that. Just normal day-to-day relationship stuff. We’ve all been in both positions.

Say you’re Person B who was wronged. Say Person A borrowed something special to you and lost it or broke it. Maybe the lost a special out of print book, or broke your lawn mower. Maybe they borrowed your car and got in a fender bender. Maybe they accidentally injured you by some careless act on their part. And worse, maybe they acted like it was no big deal. Or maybe they were mortified and replaced it or had it fixed.

Either way, say you’ve forgiven them. But there’s a boundary their now. You’re probably not going to let them borrow something again. Setting healthy boundaries is healthy, and does not (necessarily) mean you’re in unforgiveness. Especially if they act like it was no big deal, and wonder what’s wrong with you that you’re making it one, or they have a pattern of disrespecting other people’s things.

I would totally recommend setting that boundary. It’s not about the item, it’s about honoring, which is the currency in the Kingdom of God. Your boundary forces them to confront the issue in their heart with dishonoring others, which they can choose do to or not. You’re not responsible for their response to a healthy boundary.

Now let’s say you’re Person A, who did the wronging. We’ve all been there. Say you want to repair the relationship. How can you get the other person to remove that boundary? By restitution.

Relationships are like scales. Person B feels like the scales are tipped away from them, like they got the short end of the stick in the transaction. Restitution tips the scales back in their favor. Here are some examples:

If broke your neighbor’s lawn mower, not only do you buy him a new one, top-of-the-line even if his other one was not, you buy him a top-of-the-line weed-whacker as well.

If you lost your friend’s book, not only do you replace it, searching high and low on ebay if you have to if it’s out of print, but you give them a $200 Amazon gift card along with it.

If you got in a fender bender, you not only fix the car, but you replace their stock AM/FM radio with a 6-disc CD changer and a premium surround-sound stereo. (Kudos to John Sandford, founder of Elijah House Ministries, for this example.)

It doesn’t have to be monetary restitution, although those are easy examples.

Maybe you’ve said something really hurtful to your spouse. So you get up early and do some chore they do that you know they hate. Maybe you know they clean the bathrooms every Friday, so you get up at 4:00 AM every Friday so you can do it before going to work. How long? Forever. And you don’t say a word about it. Let them discover it.

Restitution is a sacrifice you make, could be monetary, could be effort, from a place or empathy over the pain you’ve caused them. Not because you’re hurting. Because they’re hurting.

You can only do this with the right heart. This isn’t penance. You’re not trying to manipulate them to drop the boundary because you want something from them. You’ll truly broken and hurt, not because you feel guilty over what you’ve done, but honestly because of the pain you caused them. You hurt because they’re hurting, and you want to bless them.

They may or may not drop the boundary and allow the relationship to be restored. That’s on them and their ability to forgive. But you’ve done, and continue to do, everything you can. Depending on the offense, restitution can take years. But it’s worth it.

If you’re the wronged party, you (usually) can’t demand restitution; that can be manipulation. And you’re perfectly justified keeping your healthy boundary in place forever if they never do anything (words don’t count) to show you their heart has changed.

If you did the wrong, you can’t ask the other person what it takes to lift the boundary; that (usually but not always) shows you’re just in it for the benefit to yourself. You’ve got to figure it out, possibly by trial ‘n’ error. But ask the Lord, he knows, and he’s all over restoring relationships. After all, that’s why he went through that whole cross and resurrection thing.

Does this strike a chord with you? Does this resonate? Tell us in the comments a story where you’ve been on one side or the other. And please share on Facebook if you think this would be helpful to someone else (click the “f” button below).

Who’s the Enemy?

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Have you ever been so angry you could spit fire? I sure have. Usually it comes from being deeply hurt. When we’re hurt and angry with another person, we often forget who the real enemy is. We easily get deceived into thinking the other person is the enemy.

There is an enemy. He wants to destroy both us and the other person with every fiber of his being. Satan, the prince of this world, is our real enemy. But we forget that in the heat of the moment.

Not knowing who the real enemy is condemns us right up front to fight a losing battle. Why? Because we’re fighting the wrong person with the wrong weapons. Once we get the real enemy right, we can fight effectively with a whole different strategy and a whole different armament. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world (2 Corinthians 10:4). This was brought home beautifully in the movie War Room which I highly recommend and strongly encourage everyone to see.

If this strikes a chord with you, pray with me: Lord, I repent this day for wrongly thinking ________ is the enemy. (Fill the blank for you.) They aren’t my enemy, Lord; they’re just a hurting person like me that you love. I acknowledge my true enemy is Satan, and I ask you Lord for your strategy against Satan in this situation. Help me be a blessing to ________ even when they aren’t to me.

This doesn’t justify the other person’s actions in hurting us nor absolve their responsibility. But it does help us understand they are confused about who the enemy is too. And so they’ve been tricked into reacting out of their wounding. Hurt people hurt people.

Does this resonate with you? Ever been down this road? Tell us your story in the comments.

Knowing Means Experience

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It’s story time again. As Saul of Taurus found out one sunny day outside Damascus, one experience can trash years of theoretical study. In the Hebrew culture and hence in the Bible, “knowing” means “experiencing.” The ivory tower head-knowledge-only that we’ve come to value so much is from the Greeks and Aristotle. The Hebrews had a word for someone with academic and theoretical knowledge only without experience, and it’s used all over the book of Proverbs. The word is “fool.” (No wonder so much of what Aristotle taught was just flat out wrong!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story.

 

“How dare they? How dare they claim this dead heretic Jesus, from Nazareth in Galilee of all places, is the Messiah?!? I have no patience or kindness for them. I dragged them out of their beds from their houses in Jerusalem and into prison, and I will do the same to them in Damascus. I have letters from the chief priests in Jerusalem, giving me the authority. We ride there now!

“I am envious of their confidence, even to the point of their death, in their false Messiah, and I hate them all the more for it. But what do they know? Taught by a bunch of unrighteous fisherman and tax collectors!

“But I, Saul of Tarsus, will boast of my own faultless legal righteousness as I have good reason for such confidence! An Israelite of Israelites, of the tribe of Benjamin, circumcised on the eighth day according to the Law of Moses, a Hebrew of Hebrews, and a Pharisee of Pharisees! Of this I have a right to be proud,” I exhort my companions as we ride along. My righteousness will certainly encourage their zeal!

Nathan interrupts me, “Look, Saul, we’re almost to the city gate!”

“Quiet, Nathan, I’m monologuing!” I retort. How rude!

“You don’t have to rude,” Nathan mumbles under his breath.

I continue to inspire them: “I have sought hard my own advancement among the Pharisees, and have advanced further than any of my contemporaries! My anger was easily aroused by these heretics, and I shall keep a record of every one of their wrongs! I delight in seeing them arrested, and will never rejoice in their heresy.”

“Alas, that we cannot always protect our people from such heretics! Our trust in our Sadducee leaders fades, and our hope diminishes under every stroke of the Roman lash. We cannot always persevere, and sometimes we fail, but always …”

Right in the middle of my big finale, a most inconvenient thing happens. Lightening appears all around us, on a perfectly clear and sunny day! The thunder booms simultaneously and my horse throws me to the ground and bolts. I land flat and hard with a thud that knocks the wind out of me. And still this light is everywhere, even when I close my eyes! I can’t see anything else!

“Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads,” says a voice from all around me. A voice like I’d never heard before – like a mighty waterfall or rushing river – the sound of many waters.

“Who are you, Lord?” I ask rather sheepishly.

“I am Jesus, who you are persecuting,” replies the voice. Now this is awkward.

“Get up and go into the city, and I will tell you what to do,” the voice continued. “I have appeared to you to appoint you as my servant and my witness to what I have shown you and will show you.”

I find my companions, or rather they find me. The light never goes away and it’s all I can see. I always thought blind people saw just blackness, and maybe they do. But my blindness is different. All I can see is white light everywhere, even when I close my eyes! My companions lead me by the hand into the city. 

 

It’s been three days here in Damascus, at the house of Judas on Straight Street. Nathan is trying to encourage me to eat. Again. “Saul, here, smell this fresh hot bread! You have to eat something!” But I just push it away. “At least drink something, it’s been three days, you’re weak, and you look terrible. Come get your strength back.” He puts a cup of clear, cold water to my lips, but I turn my head and refuse to drink.

“Nathan, thank you for all you’ve done for me, and all you’re trying to do. You’re a good friend,” I tell him. “But I can’t eat or drink until the Lord Jesus restores my sight. He me told so.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says in frustration, as he continues in his Australian accent, “and some guy we don’t even know named Ananias is going to come, somehow find us, pray for you, and restore your sight. Right. You’ve been telling us that for three bloody days, mate!”

“The Lord Jesus showed me in a vision,” I remind him gently.

“In a vision!” He throws up his hands in frustration. “And will you stop talking about ‘the Lord Jesus’ for Heaven’s sake? Those nut jobs are the bad guys, remember? Dead heretic from Nazareth in Galilee of all places, letters from the chief priests, going to drag them back to Jerusalem to stand trial… Any of this ringing a bell?”

I pray silently for Nathan, that the Lord Jesus would open his eyes as well.

“Ok, look,” Nathan continues, “you had a nasty fall there off your horse, and you landed really hard. It’s understandable you’re shaken up a bit. It was just some really bright lightening… on a completely… clear… sunny day…” he trails off. “Ok, I admit that bit’s a bit hard to explain, alright? Maybe it was just a reflection off the Roman shields up on the city wall or something. But, look, we don’t know anyone here in this whole city named Ananias.”

“The Lord Jesus will bring him here,” I say softly but confidently.

“Well apparently ‘the Lord Jesus’ has trouble reading a map. It’s been three bloody days, mate! He could have walked here from Jerusalem by now! Where is this Ananias bloke anyway?”

There’s a loud knock at the door. “Judas,” calls Nathan, “get the door, will ya?!? I’m trying to talk some sense into him.”

After a moment, Judas comes in with a stranger, and says in his southern drawl, “Um, Nathan, this here’s somewhat awkward. This here fella’s name is Ananias, and he’s here to pray for Saul, to restore his sight.”

I would give anything to not be blind and see Nathan’s face at this moment… Priceless!

 

After Ananias prays for me, and scales or something fall off my eyes and I can see normally again, he tells me, “Saul, I must admit I was more than a little afraid of coming here and seeing you, after everything I heard about in Jerusalem. But the Lord Jesus told me, and I think you should know, that you are his chosen instrument to carry his name before the Gentiles and their kings, and before the people of Israel. And he said he will show you how much you must suffer for his name.”

I thank and embrace Ananias. We part as friends, no, as dear brothers – I, who rode here with hatred in my heart for him and all the brothers, and he, who knows this and still extends the hand of friendship and brotherhood to me.

How shall I respond to my Lord, who in love revealed himself to me, took off all my hate, and now in love calls me to share in his sufferings?

Now I understand love. Now I know love. Now I’ve experienced love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

How shall I respond to love? By loving him back, serving the one I love, and the ones he loves. It is an honor that I don’t deserve, chief of sinners as I am. But I will gladly, expectantly, suffer for the sake of the Name of Jesus, and the loving relationship he started with me through this experience.

How about you? 

– Based on Acts 8:3, Acts 9:1-19, 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, Galatians 1:13-14, Philippians 3:4-6, and 1 Timothy 1:15.

 

Experience is not an end in itself, it needs to be consistent with scripture (i.e., the exact experience doesn’t have to necessarily be found in scripture, but it can’t contradict it). But if we only know about God without actually experiencing him, then we don’t really know Jesus.

How about you? Any of this resonate? If so, please share on social media (convenient share buttons below) and leave us a comment. We’ve love to hear your story of experiencing God!

Spiritual Neurosis

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We have compassion on people acting badly when we understand their motivation. Not that we put up with it, but then we can respond from a spirit of love rather than from self-righteousness (which doesn’t help anybody). So if we want to speak life to a lost and dying world, it’s important to understand the difference between spiritual psychosis and spiritual neurosis. It’s important to check what’s under the hood.

I heard a pastor once (sorry, don’t remember who), explain the difference between psychotic and neurotic people like this.

A psychotic person believes 2 + 2 = 5. With all their being. They are absolutely, totally convinced. Nothing can persuade them otherwise. They have swallowed the lie hook, line, and sinker. They believe a false reality as if it were true. And they live accordingly, not understanding that the negative consequences in their lives are the result of believing a lie.

A neurotic person, on the other hand, knows 2 + 2 = 4, but they don’t like it. They really wish 2 + 2 equaled 5, and they may even pretend it does, but deep down they know it’s false. They are not friends with the truth. In fact, though they know what the truth is, they hate it for being true.

In my humble opinion, it’s the spiritually neurotic people who are the ones that get angry when sensitive spiritual subjects come up.

A spiritually psychotic atheist will just laugh at you for believing in God. Your belief won’t bother them, and they might even feel sorry for you. But a spiritually neurotic atheist will get mad at you for bringing up the subject. They’re trying as hard as they can to pretend the truth they know is true is not true, and you popping their fantasy bubble isn’t helping. They’ve spent years building that bubble, and they don’t like to be reminded about how poorly it’s working. Spiritual neurosis.

Same with abortion. The angriest pro-choicers in the room are often post-abortive themselves, trying desperately to pretend they did nothing wrong. But their wounding keeps getting in the way, and you as a pro-lifer are not helping them ignore it. Spiritual neurosis.

Often, at the core of spiritual neurosis is some degree of spiritual psychosis. We’re believing a lie that we don’t even realize we’re believing. These can be hard to weed out because we’ve believed the lie for so long it’s become a core assumption deep in our being.

The goodness of God to us is he doesn’t let those things lie there forever. Believing the lie (or pretending to) often gives us some relief from pain temporarily. But when the season comes where God wants to heal us, what worked before stops working. That’s the grace of God in our life, to get us to deal with it, go through the pain to his healing on the other side.

Does this resonate? Have you been, or are you now, going through a season where what worked before is no longer working? What is the truth God’s teaching you? Tell us in the comments or shoot us an email. And please share on Facebook if you think this would help someone else.

A Godly, Sabbath Rest

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I’m learning to take a Sabbath rest. God’s teaching me about this. I’m learning to take a regular godly rest.

Honestly, it’s not going very well. My spirit gets it. My heart leaps at the idea, but can’t articulate to my brain what it looks like. So my brain is confused. What am I gonna do, just sit and watch the grass grow all Sunday afternoon? Or crash & take a nap? Although the brief Sunday afternoon naps I occasionally take really help me physically, my brain has this nagging feeling that a Sabbath rest is something more.

I heard this teaching from Sheryl Dudek at a recent ARLN (Abortion Recovery Leaders Network). This really has brought me some Sabbath rest clarity and I pray it does the same for you if you’re as confused as I am.

We all know this verse:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Jesus, Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

Did you know, in the Greek, the two words translated “rest” in that verse are different?

The first “rest”, as in, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you REST, means “refreshment.” It’s not just the absence of doing anything. It’s doing something that refreshes you. What charges your battery? That’s the Sabbath rest God has hard-wired you for.

The second rest, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find REST for your souls, means “recreation.” What’s fun? Some things are fun but exhausting. What’s fun for you and also energizes you, re-charging your battery?

Wow. That puts a whole, new spin on taking a Sabbath rest for me. It’s not the absence of doing anything, which for me would be incredibly boring and not restful at all, but instead it’s doing something fun that re-charges me.

For me, it’s going on a walk or a hike, especially through the woods. Or playing tennis. Or reading a book for enjoyment or enrichment rather than for information. I’m going to do one of these activities on Sunday.

What activities fall into this category for you? How do you take a Sabbath rest? Tell us in the comments. Your story is valuable to the whole community. And please share on social media if you think this would help someone else.