“It’s not fair!” said every person everywhere, at some point in their lives. Some of us live in that unhappy place of constantly striving for fairness and never seeing it. Some of us sink there when bad things happen. We see it all over our political system—the constant cry for fairness, for everyone to be […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/WhyWeDontWantFairness-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-12-18 03:00:192018-12-17 20:27:46Why We Really Don’t Want Fairness but This Instead
At a recent writer’s conference (Jeff Goins’ Tribe conference), I heard a speaker, Joseph Michael, author of the online course Learn Scrivener Fast, say he was thankful for his failures. I’d always known intellectually that failures are good for you. As long as you learn something, failures are learning experiences. They’re a necessary part of […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/HowToSucceedByDecidingToFail-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-11-07 05:30:042021-09-06 13:58:01How to Succeed by Deciding to Fail
Recently we were at a conference and Janet ran into a friend who told her, “I’m so nervous about wearing something that looks good I brought 3 suitcases of clothes.” Now this young woman is gorgeous and would look beautiful in anything she wears. But that’s apparently not the story she tells herself. The negative […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/HowToTellOurselvesADifferentStory-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-10-30 03:00:462018-10-29 18:14:15How to Tell Yourself a Different Story
Pain is something we don’t understand very well, especially here in the West. We avoid it, medicate, and ignore it, none of which actually fixes it. But pain is important. It’s telling us something’s wrong that we need to address. Pain is like the idiot light on your dashboard. What if the oil light comes […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/3TypesOfEmotionalPain-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-10-09 03:00:372018-10-09 06:21:25How to Tell the Difference between 3 Types of Emotional Pain We Feel
As Americans, we don’t feel comfortable around other people’s grief. We don’t know how to act. We don’t have a healthy understanding of grief. Death is a legitimate part of life. We ignore it. We pretend it’s not there. We’ve abstracted it away, and we really don’t know how to deal with it ourselves, let alone […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/4WaysToHelpGrievingPeople-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-10-02 03:00:062022-06-16 20:17:274 Ways to Help Grieving People
Do you ever get confused by the weather? Do you ever think the weather itself is confused? I’m looking out the window watching the rain fall on a completely sunny day! Yes, it’s dumping rain at the same time the sun is shining. Does it do that where you live? It does it here in […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/HowToTellWhenItsASeasonToHeal-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-09-04 03:00:392018-09-03 18:33:45How to Tell when It’s a Season to Heal
You don’t want to be the good guy in interpersonal relationships. It’s counter-intuitive, but you really don’t. What?!? Are you saying I should be the bad guy? No, of course not. In the world’s scarcity mindset we fall into so easily and often, those are the only two options. But in the Kingdom, there’s another […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/GoodGuyBadGuyChairs-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-08-29 03:00:372021-09-06 13:59:14Why You Don't Want to Be the Good Guy
The concepts in this post come from Danny Silk’s book, Keep Your Love On: Connection, Communication, and Boundaries. This book has really rocked my world. I wish I’d read it 20 years ago. A short, easy read, it’s one of those books that you want to read every year. I cannot recommend it highly enough. […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/3-Most-Dangerous-Communication-Animals-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-08-16 03:00:352021-09-06 13:59:49The 3 Most Dangerous Communication Styles
Judith MacNutt, wife of Francis MacNutt, tells a great story about a circus elephant she saw back-stage. The massive animal stayed in its circle, held by a chain around its foot staked at the center of the circle. The huge creature easily could have ripped that chain right out of the ground and taken off. But […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/HowToGetUnstuckWith3QuestionsAnd2Steps-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-08-07 03:00:552018-08-20 10:59:48How to Get Unstuck in 3 Questions and 2 Steps
We’ve probably all heard snippets of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s first Christmas album, Christmas Eve and Other Stories, but do you know the theme of that album? If you buy the CD, there’s a story woven between the song lyrics. God sends his tiniest angel to Earth on Christmas Eve to bring back a token of what […]
https://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/EmbracingIntimacy-495x400.jpg400495Dave Wernlihttps://identityinwholeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/new_logo_menu.pngDave Wernli2018-07-31 03:00:242021-09-06 14:00:215 Steps to Help Anyone with Anything
Why We Really Don’t Want Fairness but This Instead
/2 Comments/in Christian Living, Posts by Dave /by Dave Wernli“It’s not fair!” said every person everywhere, at some point in their lives. Some of us live in that unhappy place of constantly striving for fairness and never seeing it. Some of us sink there when bad things happen. We see it all over our political system—the constant cry for fairness, for everyone to be […]
How to Succeed by Deciding to Fail
/4 Comments/in Christian Living, Identity, Inner Healing, Posts by Dave /by Dave WernliAt a recent writer’s conference (Jeff Goins’ Tribe conference), I heard a speaker, Joseph Michael, author of the online course Learn Scrivener Fast, say he was thankful for his failures. I’d always known intellectually that failures are good for you. As long as you learn something, failures are learning experiences. They’re a necessary part of […]
How to Tell Yourself a Different Story
/0 Comments/in Identity, Posts by Dave /by Dave WernliRecently we were at a conference and Janet ran into a friend who told her, “I’m so nervous about wearing something that looks good I brought 3 suitcases of clothes.” Now this young woman is gorgeous and would look beautiful in anything she wears. But that’s apparently not the story she tells herself. The negative […]
How to Tell the Difference between 3 Types of Emotional Pain We Feel
/0 Comments/in Inner Healing, Posts by Dave /by Dave WernliPain is something we don’t understand very well, especially here in the West. We avoid it, medicate, and ignore it, none of which actually fixes it. But pain is important. It’s telling us something’s wrong that we need to address. Pain is like the idiot light on your dashboard. What if the oil light comes […]
4 Ways to Help Grieving People
/8 Comments/in Healthy Church, Posts by Dave, Relationships /by Dave WernliAs Americans, we don’t feel comfortable around other people’s grief. We don’t know how to act. We don’t have a healthy understanding of grief. Death is a legitimate part of life. We ignore it. We pretend it’s not there. We’ve abstracted it away, and we really don’t know how to deal with it ourselves, let alone […]
How to Tell when It’s a Season to Heal
/2 Comments/in Inner Healing, Posts by Dave /by Dave WernliDo you ever get confused by the weather? Do you ever think the weather itself is confused? I’m looking out the window watching the rain fall on a completely sunny day! Yes, it’s dumping rain at the same time the sun is shining. Does it do that where you live? It does it here in […]
Why You Don’t Want to Be the Good Guy
/6 Comments/in Cornerstone Content, Posts by Dave, Relationships /by Dave WernliYou don’t want to be the good guy in interpersonal relationships. It’s counter-intuitive, but you really don’t. What?!? Are you saying I should be the bad guy? No, of course not. In the world’s scarcity mindset we fall into so easily and often, those are the only two options. But in the Kingdom, there’s another […]
The 3 Most Dangerous Communication Styles
/2 Comments/in Posts by Dave, Relationships /by Dave WernliThe concepts in this post come from Danny Silk’s book, Keep Your Love On: Connection, Communication, and Boundaries. This book has really rocked my world. I wish I’d read it 20 years ago. A short, easy read, it’s one of those books that you want to read every year. I cannot recommend it highly enough. […]
How to Get Unstuck in 3 Questions and 2 Steps
/0 Comments/in Cornerstone Content, Inner Healing, Posts by Dave /by Dave WernliJudith MacNutt, wife of Francis MacNutt, tells a great story about a circus elephant she saw back-stage. The massive animal stayed in its circle, held by a chain around its foot staked at the center of the circle. The huge creature easily could have ripped that chain right out of the ground and taken off. But […]
5 Steps to Help Anyone with Anything
/1 Comment/in Christian Living, Posts by Dave, Relationships /by Dave WernliWe’ve probably all heard snippets of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s first Christmas album, Christmas Eve and Other Stories, but do you know the theme of that album? If you buy the CD, there’s a story woven between the song lyrics. God sends his tiniest angel to Earth on Christmas Eve to bring back a token of what […]