Are you ready to go deep today? Because in this post, I’m going to talk about what we all want and desperately need, but we’re all terribly afraid of. Deep down, sometimes way down there, we all want intimacy. But how can we embrace the intimacy we’re simultaneously longing for and terrified of? Intimacy == […]
Author Archive: Dave Wernli
How to Improve Any Relationship
Anything involving humans can always be improved, and relationships are no different. But before we can improve one, we need to understand what makes the quality of a relationship better or worse. The quality of any relationship is measured by the depth of the connection between the people involved. The best relationships are a safe […]
The Most Damaging Thing We Do to Each Other without Realizing It
People are people. We get saved, and we’re instantly justified before God by the blood of Jesus. But we’re not instantly sanctified. We bring all our godless behavior with us into the church. Being justified means being forgiven. Cleansed of our sin. No longer cannon-fodder for Hell. We were saved from hellfire and brought back […]
Why Everyone, Including Trauma Survivors, Wrongly Blames Trauma Survivors
We have a nasty habit of blaming trauma survivors for the trauma they endured. In the church, outside the church, it makes no difference. We wrongly blame trauma survivors for the trauma perpetrated upon them through no fault of their own. Yes, unwise choices can put you in a situation where trauma is more likely […]
The One Question that Reveals Our Heart
When Jesus encountered a paralytic lying on a mat at the pool of Bethesda in John 5, he asked possibly the stupidest question ever, on the surface at least. Really, though, this question, more than any other, reveals our heart. Do you want to get well? So here’s the deal with this pool. From time […]
How to Address the Biggest Problem You Don’t Know You Have
Often the biggest problems in our lives aren’t the ones we know about. They aren’t the problems we’re dealing with. In fact, often what we think are the problems in our lives are really just symptoms. So often the real problem is something we’ve become so comfortable with that we think it’s normal. Janet and […]
3 Steps to Stop Sabotaging My Life
How do we keep from sabotaging ourselves? I’m old friends with self-sabotage. We go way back. When I was 8 or 10 or so, my friends and I rode bikes (bicycles, not motorcycles). Constantly. All the time. On road and off-road. Especially in the fields and canyons around our housing track in Southern California, in […]
MLK’s 6 Keys of Nonviolence the Church Needs to Learn
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., changed the world. Pure and simple. MLK is an American hero on par with George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. In his 1958 book Stride for Freedom, MLK outlines 6 key principles of nonviolence. These are all Christian principles found in scripture. This post is based on a summary of this […]
How to Partner with God in Reclaiming Your Identity
The most common malady in the human experience is loss. We have all experienced it in the past. We will all experience it in the future. It is a sad fact in this fallen world. By far though, the greatest loss is ourselves. That is trauma’s worst consequence—the loss of our identity. The good news […]
3 Ways to Not Let Your History Control Your Destiny
Our destiny is the adventure God created us to live. Yet so many of us are not living it, and our history is why—all the wounding, trauma, pain—and the fear it brings. The good news is our history does not have to control our destiny. Jesus is bigger than your fear, and he wants to […]









